Equanimity on the Sabbath

Today is Sunday, which I celebrate as my Sabbath-- meaning that I keep it simple, slow-paced, and peaceful. 

Autumn Flowers- acrylic on board

It’s not possible for me to do NO work on the Sabbath, but I schedule very little work, and my work has a different focus and flavor. I take time out from busy-ness so I can practice deepening my inner life-- how I feel, how I behave, and how I connect.

My theme this month is balance, and I've decided to contemplate today how to bring a little balance to the swings I have in my temper. I have a well-developed amygdala- the reptilian brain- that sometimes hijacks me at the smallest hint of unfairness, criticism, or disrespect. My logic and self-control abandon me more often than I'd like, and I become befuddled, or snap out hurtful words.

I wish I could consistently draw on my equanimity-- that strength and stability that's available to me when I stay grounded and calm. With equanimity I am better able to stay poised under stress, and even-tempered in the middle of whatever is happening.

Equanimity opens doors: It allows me to be feel love without clinging to it, and fear without retreating. I am able to take on bigger challenges without scaring people off or collapsing in a puddle of anxiety.

Sabbath Plan:
1. All Day Meditation:
I begin my celebration of the Sabbath right away when I awaken-- I pause before jumping out of bed to remember God, and acknowledge that I have God within. I hold that remembering through the day, lightly, like a dove resting on my shoulder (I like to picture myself brushing the wings of Spirit with my loving attention). I remember to smile, and allow compassion to shine.

2. Journal:
Think about situations where I have recently lost my temper.

What specific feelings were involved? (anxiety, frustration, sadness, anger?)
What thought spurred the feeling, and was it really warranted?

From my journal: I just finished a week-long camp with three six-year-olds, and frustration was the flavor of the week... one thought was “Why didn’t you pay attention when I just now showed you how to do that?” I know that’s an unrealistic expectation.

3. Equanimity Practice:

I gave myself a henna tattoo last night as a reminder off my theme!

I know how to be calm. But calmness under stress is not easy: It takes effort and it takes practice.

In order to make it a habit, I practice the steps just like one would practice the piano. These steps engage me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. When I get in shape, I can speed-shift through the steps in 10-seconds.

1. Ground: Stand with my feet planted firmly on the floor, and breathe slowly until I feel solidly connected to the earth.

2. Name my feeling (frustration, for example).

3. Soften my heart: It doesn't work to repress or deny what I am feeling, so I hold the feeling in love and light. Buddhists call it "leaning in". I accept that I'm feeling frustrated again, and forgive myself.

4. Open my mind: This is where I consider what is true about the situation, and say something to myself like "Cynth, you are not being realistic. Six-year-olds are not meant to stay focused and quiet".

5. Pray: "Let the Light of Love shine through me. I am calm, cool, and grounded."

Here is a graphic I made to tape to my mirror - go ahead and make a copy for yourself!

"It's easy to continue, even after years of practice, to harden into a position of anger and indignation. However, if we can contact the vulnerability and rawness of resentment or rage or whatever it is, a bigger perspective can emerge. In the moment that we choose to abide with the energy instead of acting it out and repressing it, we are training in equanimity, in thinking bigger than right and wrong." –Pema Chodron