Gnothi Seauton

On New Year's Day I put the Greek Delphic injunction on my altar - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself. I've been working to know myself better for many years, and to understand my unique temperament and personality style. Knowing myself has allowed me to make better decisions, express what I need and want in life, and understand what motivates me to resist bad habits and develop good ones.

Agenda:

1. Review my personality

2. Word #4 - Discipline

3. Review my resolutions

4. Create inner synergy

1. Review my personality:
We can all access information about our personality and temperament just by answering some questions, but a style assessment tool like Myers-Briggs or the Enneagram will help you to go deeper. My favorite assessment tool is the Friendly Style Profile personality system. This is an inventory of your personality strengths and excesses. The categories are easier to learn than some profile systems, but flexible enough to be inclusive of every unique individual.

When I learned this system it changed my life, because I finally gained clarity about why I get into repeated conflicts in certain similar situations, how my behaviors provoke certain people, and also what my strengths and preferences are. It helped me to understand the complexity of a personality, the underlying logic of my responses to situations, and ultimately helped me to tone down my most troublesome responses and behaviors.

We are all born with some characteristics, and some we develop at a young age; they are not innately good or bad, even though it might seem like it. The language is a problem sometimes - we might all want to be labeled "conscientious" but some of us are just more spontaneous and easy-going, and I'm so glad we are all different! If some of your particular characteristics are troublesome, it's because you haven't yet figured out how to administer them well, or mesh them with other personalities. 

Personality tools give you a new perspective and self-awareness, but remember that they are all generalizations and do not define you.

Today I will look back over my own unique outline of activity level, bio-rhythms, sensitivity, adaptability, intensity, persistence, distractibility, mood, approachability, introversion, openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, and neuroticism. (You can find my list of personality queries here).

Tomorrow I will use this list to make a plan for building on my strengths and moderating my weakness.

2. Word #4 - Discipline:

I'm reading a Pendle Hill pamphlet called Marking the Quaker Path: Seven Key Words Plus One, by Robert Griswold. This speaks to the condition of many Friends in my Meeting, who are ready to go deeper on this journey, and a large group of us are studying this booklet together this year.

Griswold uses seven key words that come to us from our Quaker history, that were developed to help us sense where we are on the Quaker path, and where we are going. He says these words will help us all to see how the Quaker path unfolds - but only if we "bring them into our experience so they are sealed in our hearts ... Friends from George Fox on have sought to avoid a faith that is notional, that is, just based on imagined or abstract thinking. So it is vital that we come to own these words through experiencing them in our lives".

We should consider these words more as growth markers than as concepts, as part of a sequence. I wrote about Covenant in December, and the word this month is Discipline.

Griswold talks about our consumer society, where we even shop around for a religion. He says, "I see many Friends shopping for the small fruits of other religions rather than going deeper into their own. ... A little Wicca, a little Buddhist practice, a Native American sweat, an observance of Ramadan, a little yoga practice - these probably won't do us much harm, and they can help us with our appreciation of the faith experiences of others. But they may also distract us from the disciplines we need to grow as Friends".

He goes on to explain that digging into Quaker faith and practice takes time, patience, and work. "There is a notion abroad in the world that the important basis of correct behavior is thinking things through, reaching a decision, and then acting on it. I disagree. A little thinking its fine, but unless we have the experience of following a discipline, we won't even begin to have the tools we need for useful thinking".

Discipline is a muscle that requires exercise. Being a Quaker is like perfecting a craft. "The discipline needed is the discipline of Quaker practice called 'good order' or 'Gospel order'. ... Our outrageous aim as Quakers is to discern the truth of Reality - and align our actions with the truth. We won't come close to that goal without discipline".

Wow. This section has a lot to unpack! I'm only halfway through. I'll pick this up again tomorrow.

3. Resolutions review:

Speaking of discipline, I'm reviewing my New Year's resolutions this week and setting some small practices. The first is: 

Move: I intend to set new and creative movement goals each week, and build my momentum for an active life, because I need to reverse these sedentary habits before they damage my health, and so that I can keep up with my grandchildren for years to come.

I've been successful at using an app on my phone to remind myself to get up at least for 5 minutes every hour, and I've introduced a gentle stretching routine early in my morning. 

My next goal is to take a daily walk, at least around the block. That used to be a given, every day without fail. Now I'm lucky if I manage it three times in a week. My plan:

1. Get walking gear that I love (I already did this - a new rain hat and new red boots!)
2. Plan destinations and / or activities for each day of the week (such as a walk to get cat food, and a walk to find acorns).
3. Find walking partners and set up regular walking dates.
4. Set a very tenacious reminder on my phone.
5. Create inner synergy.

4. Create Inner Synergy:

Stephen Covey says, "Fulfilling the four needs [spiritual, mental, physical, social] in an integrated way is like combining elements in chemistry. When we reach a "critical mass" of integration, we experience spontaneous combustion -- an explosion of inner synergy that ignites the fire within and gives vision, passion, and a spirit of adventure to life." 

Inner synergy is when your body, mind, spirit, and heart are all cooperating to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects. I love the image of "an explosion of inner synergy," and I've experienced that passion spontaneously, but I wondered if it was possible to harness that energy when I want it and need it.

Can we create inner synergy purposefully and on demand? Can you build it intentionally, for a particular project or task, in order to infuse that project or task with vision and passion, and engage with full effort?

I thought it was possible and designed an experimental plan, which I've been testing for a few years now to good effect: 

Choose any project or task that is a priority, that connects to your values and principles, something you want to do soon; something a little challenging but within your abilities (such as walking every day).

Each step below has multiple ways to engage, and you don't have to use them all. Take as much or as little time with the steps as you like - you might want to stretch the process out over a few days, repeating each step a few times in different ways, building a little more energy each time. Or you can speed shift through the steps, and explode into action today!

Engage your mind: 

• Write about the project or task in your journal, and why it's important.
• Create a clear vision with a visualization.
• Gather all the information you need to do the project.
• Make a beautiful chart and color code it!

Engage your heart: 

• Identify the love component. Write about and visualize who this project might benefit, and the people skills you might need to develop for this project.
• Focus a Love Meditation on the project: Send the "pink light of love" to yourself and the people who will be impacted by the project.

Engage your spirit:

• Choose a mantra, the word or phrase that will remind you of the deepest reasons for the project.
• Light a candle, repeat your mantra, and carry the words with you all day.
• Use the mantra as a focus for your daily awareness practices.

Engage your body:

• Get prepared - schedule time to physically do the project or task.
• Gather all the supplies you need.
• Prepare a space for the project.

Start a fire: My walking synergy plan is a sequence that begins when my timer goes off:

1. Mentally review my vision of my walking route for the day.
2. Engage my heart by remembering my walking partner of the day, or neighbors I might meet.
3. Engage my spirit by reciting the mantra "Walk my talk."
4. Engage my body by putting on my lovely red boots and going out the door.