Family Joy

During this week of Advent my theme is "family love and joy". Of course, the joy of the season is spontaneous and un-planable, but I do these three things to create the right conditions:

My children painted these plaster houses when they were young.

• Take the time to consider what my friends and family will want most this season. In other words, I become less self-focused and more generous in all ways. 
• Be respectful, flexible, patient, and kind (no matter how stressed I feel).
• Take care of myself so I can be calm and present for the spontaneous joy when it arises.

These are obviously year-round aspirations, but I need a daily reminder now, because, somehow, everything seems more important: I have expectations (both of myself and others) about how things should go, and that never works.

Agenda this week:
1. Read a novena

2. Daily love journal

3. Read "The Simpler Life"

4. Light a candle forJoy

1. Read a novena:

This is the third day of the Christmas Novena, a Catholic ritual of a prayer recited or sung during the nine days leading up to Christmas Day. I am reading this Creation Novena from the Indian Catholic Matters site:

Day 3: A Prayer for the Plants 

Creator God, we give thanks for every kind of plant that bears seed and every kind of fruit tree on earth that bears fruit. We thank You for all that plants provide and offer us, and for all the ways they connect us with all life on Earth. Thank You for the sustenance—physical, emotional, and spiritual—that we draw from the plants. We give thanks for the grain, fruit, and vegetables we eat, and for the shrubs and flowers that fill our homes and parks. We give thanks for the oxygen they produce and the stability they bring to our world. And we give special thanks for the wheat and grapes that, through the work of human hands, become our offering of bread and wine, which you lovingly return to us as the body and blood of Your Son, Jesus Christ.

As we see the unimaginably rapid destruction of rainforests, grasslands, and aquatic habitats, we ask that You give us courage to speak for the voiceless and to change our lifestyles. Help us encourage our neighbors and policy-makers to care for Your creation.

We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen.

2. Daily love journal:

Periodically I take out a special small journal that I call my love journal. First I think about the people I will see today, and the conversations we may have. I make note of times when I might need to draw on equanimity.

Today I will answer these queries:

How does joy manifest in my life? 

What creative ways can I find to communicate with each person in my family?

 

3. Read "The Simpler Life":

This month I'm reviewing this pretty little book by Deborah DeFord (1998). The subtitle is "An Inspirational Guide to Living Better with Less".

I'm on Chapter 3: Simply Together. She begins by saying that togetherness is important but also "creates some of the knottiest complexities of our daily lives"; the challenge is how to keep our relationships simple. And the process of simplifying our relationships makes them more delicious and meaningful.

Today I'm reading about re-inventing family life. Her main advice is to find simple ways to communicate and listen to each other: A weekly family meeting, or pre-dinner or pre-TV time sharing. Also, be sure to give everyone enough alone time.

3. Light a candle for Joy:

For the first part of Soyal I am meditating and writing about each of my core values, and making plans for the coming year based on guidance from the Spirits. Today I am giving attention to Joy: Joy is an uplifting, positive feeling that comes from within, when I am mindful, flexible, and relaxed in the moment.

Joy is not a moral value so much as a personal reminder to myself to get out of my head! I practice joy by remembering to appreciate the simple things in my day-to-day life, go with the flow, be present, play, and practice self-care.

Today I light a yellow candle for joy, and ask the Spirits to bring the rain of loving care down upon the whole world.