The Great Journey Begins

Today we will get on a train for Minnesota - the longest train trip I've ever done: Two nights of sleeping in a chair; going through two time zone changes. I'm approaching it as a challenging adventure - and I'm not doing it alone. 

I've got two goals for this trip: First, that I practice my communication skills with my beloved husband, and second, that I stick to my other priorities - creativity, writing, healthy self-care, and earth unity.

Agenda:

1. Read "Present Moment Awareness"

2. Start an Ongo journal

3. Train schedule

4. Pack for self-care

1. Read "Present Moment Awareness":

I've been reading this book by Shannon Duncan (2001) that takes awareness one step at a time: First, body and senses; then beliefs and limitations; then emotions; and finally, reactivity. It seems like a straightforward plan!

Now I'm moving to the second section: The Illusion of Limitations, about how our beliefs seem so real. "It is a sign of mental health to question the validity of our own thoughts, which is an acknowledgement of the liquid nature of truth."

I'm working on examining the thought that "criticism is an attack on my intellect; you think I'm stupid." Criticism of any kind causes me to close down, get angry, and deny. I settle in to the closed off attitude that this isn't fair. I don't remember being criticized much as a child, but I do remember being belittled and not taken seriously, treated as immature. I struggled to get respect and attention from my father, certainly, and this has affected me my whole life.

The ponder question for this section is: Which of my limiting beliefs would I be willing to question and give up? Perhaps it is: "When someone is critical of something I say or do, it is an attack on my intelligence that I must reject or face humiliation." I might reframe it to: "When someone is critical of something I say and do, they are trying to help me to see a different reality, and I can welcome that insight with openness and appreciation."

2. Start an Ongo journal:

I'm taking a 12-week group Nonviolent Communication Ongo workshop (short for ongoing spiritual practice). The schedule is pretty rigorous - 5 days of solo practice plus a buddy meeting and a group meeting.

I have completed my first Group Meeting, and set these intentions: to regain faith that people are good and worthy of love and respect; to regain hope for our future; to soften my cynicism and learn to express my urgency in a respectful way.

Today I'm adding: to welcome critiques and observations about myself with openness and appreciation.   

3. Train schedule:

I won't really get to practice a schedule until tomorrow, but the flow will be much like my regular days, with morning writing and contemplation (probably in the club car or observation car), followed by a dawn exercise and stretching routine. 

At dawn, then, go in search of coffee, and take my first walk - try for 1000 steps, followed by breakfast and a chat with my partner.

Te rest of the day will be filled with writing, reading, research, and art projects, punctuated by two more long train walks of 1000 steps each, and frequent breaks to chat and look at scenery.

4. Pack for self-care:

Packing healthy snacks (hummus and carrots), plenty of reading material, some sewing and a craft (with educational purpose), a blanket, pillow, eye mask and ear plugs!