Thanksgiving

And here we are at Thanksgiving again! I'm anxious about hosting a huge meal, providing the right atmosphere, and remaining calm in the chaos of a multi-generational gathering. I want everyone to feel comfortable and relaxed, not overworked or stressed - including myself.

How can I help to make it a great day for everyone and also retain my own contentment?

In order to set this day apart, I will treat it as a Sabbath … no unkind words, no rushing, no work that isn’t thankful work. I choose to stay present, notice everything as if in slow motion, and pause often to observe what I am thankful for in the moment.

Agenda:

1. Thanksgiving Meditation for Peace and Abundance

2. Read "Perspective"

3. Cook the turkey

4. Acknowledge the Kalapuya

5. Give thanks

6. Compile a family wish list

1. Thanksgiving Meditation for Peace and Abundance:
In order to start the morning right, I will pause right now to take a deep breath and feel deep gratitude for what I have, for the abundance of having a home, a family and friends. I am thankful for the things I usually take for granted. I am thankful that I AM ALIVE.

I give thanks for my warm room, for my slippers, my health, my sleeping family, my clean kitchen, the clean air I breathe, and my morning cup of coffee. I pray that my friends and family stay safe and well.

I give thanks for the pies on the table, the abundance of food in the refrigerator, and the earth which provides for us all. I pray that others find enough food today to feel full and satisfied.

I give thanks for a home of peace, and a town with no riots, bombing, flooding or draught. I pray for peace and justice for my brothers and sisters all over the world.

2. Read "Perspective":

Today I am starting this new book by Meridith Elliot Powell, subtitled Reignite, Reinvent, Reframe (2025). This is the work I am dedicating myself to this advent - the Grace of keeping a positive and broad perspective, because when I open my heart to the grace and transformation of the season, and my connection to the universal Spirit, I honor All of Creation.  

The introduction says, "Perspective changes everything. ... Your life, your career, your relationships, your stress, your degree of happiness ... When you shift your perspective ... you move from the position of victim to decision-maker in your own life." It's all in how you look at things - uncertainty can be an invitation, challenge can be a cue, and conflict can be a way to connect.

Grace Notes: I've been remembering and dwelling on moments when I blurted out odd and somewhat insulting words that I simply did not think through. It is usually to people around whom I'm anxious. (I think because my daughter is trying to teach her son to think of kind words so he can make friends.) 

These memories haunt me, and strain my relationships. While they point to work I can do on equanimity, right now I think I might extend some compassion to myself, and reframe these moments as an opportunity to double down on making new friends.

3. Cook the turkey and the stuffing:

We plan to eat at 3:30, and I’m cooking a 14 lb. turkey today: 15-20 minutes / pound = between 3.5 and 4.75 hours, so I will try for 4. My turkey schedule: 

• 8:00 -Remove all the packaging and wrapping, and put turkey on a rack in the roasting pan, so air can circulate around it. Then, pat it dry all over, and season it generously with salt and pepper. Put it back in the fridge for at least an hour, and ideally up to overnight. (Letting the skin dry will help ensure a beautifully browned roast turkey with deliciously crispy and flavorful skin. And seasoning it ahead of time allows for the salt to penetrate the meat, making it more tender and flavorful.) 
• 10:30- Melt some butter, collect herbs, peel an onion.
• Preheat oven to 3:25ºF and set in the baking stone, a heat sink that pumps energy directly into the part of the bird that needs it the most: the leg quarters, which must be cooked to a higher temperature than the leaner breast meat. 
• Prep the bird: Rub plenty of butter under the skin above the breast meat. Stuff a bundle of herbs (sage, rosemary, thyme) along with an onion and a halved lemon in the cavity. Place some celery, carrots, and onion in the bottom of the pan, too - this will help season the gravy. Put 1/2 cup water in the pan too.
• 11:00 - Put the turkey in. 
• 1:00 - Cover the breast with a double layer of aluminum foil, if it's looking brown enough.
• 2:00 - Put the stuffing in to bake, with the turkey but not in the turkey.
• 2:30 - Set the table.
• 3:00 - take the turkey out to rest for 30 minutes, for the juices to redistribute, and to ensure moist meat. 
• I'll make gravy at the last minute, and later, whipped cream and decaf.

My daughters are bringing pies, potatoes, biscuits, and veggies; my son is bringing his signature simple cranberry sauce.

With my schedule on my planner, I can relax and flow with the day as it unfolds, which will not be as planned! When things go sideways, which they will, I will take a breath, touch my heart, and remember how blessed I am to have my family around me.

4. Acknowledge the Kalapuya:

A few years ago I wrote about my pilgrim ancestors, Stephen Hopkins and his daughter Constance, from whom my Grandpa Jay Alborn is descended, and wrote a long piece about the myth of the first Thanksgiving. For more information, see my post from Thanksgiving 2022.

This year I will read this acknowledgement about the Kalapuya, who are indigenous to this Willamette Valley:

This Thanksgiving Day, when we celebrate the myth of our pilgrim ancestors, I’d like to acknowledge this area’s first people - the Kalapuya - and their descendants, and recognize that this Willamette Valley is the land upon which they have lived, hunted, and fished for thousands of years. 

The Kalapuya people were dispossessed of their indigenous homeland by the US government between 1851 and 1855, and forcibly removed. Today, descendants are citizens of the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde Community of Oregon and the Confederated Tribes of Siletz Indians of Oregon, and continue to make important contributions in their communities.

I’d like to express my gratitude and appreciation to them, and also my sorrow for the genocide and removal, and the ongoing racism and discrimination they have suffered, and note that the myth of the first thanksgiving ignores these darker aspects of the European re-colonization of Turtle Island. 

5. Give thanks:
Thankfulness is a powerful and transforming emotion. I hope to take time to feel each nuance of the day, to feel gratitude for each person present, and for each dish offered; and give thanks for the food, all the way back to its source and all who handled it on the way to our table.

I hope to take the time to connect deeply with the people I am with and appreciate each person’s uniqueness, and I challenge myself to remain calm and centered in the chaos.

6. Compile a family wish list:
It's a family tradition that we make a list on Thanksgiving of what we each want for Christmas. (This now requires some cajoling texts and email nudges.)