Little New Year

Kitchen God I drew a few years ago.

Today is called Little New Year - it falls one week before Chinese New Year. Little New Year is also known as the Kitchen God Festival because this is the day that the Kitchen God, Tsao-wang, and his wife, Wang Bo-jia, leave to report to heaven. A picture of these two gods, printed or drawn on rice paper, hangs in a niche just above the stove in a Chinese home.

In China a whole month is spent in preparations - cleaning, cooking, and decorating the house. All of the things displayed at Chinese New Year are symbols of the ideal life - tokens and reminders of the good things we hope for: Luck, wealth, long life, and happiness.

Agenda today:

1. Read the Sweet Spot

2. Ongo journal

3. Heart brainstorm

4. Forced Blossoms

5. Make a Tray of Togetherness

6. Kitchen God Good-bye Ceremony

1. Read "The Sweet Spot":

I'm continuing this book by Christine Carter (2015), about "How to Find Your Groove". The thesis is that when we hit from our sweet spot we have optimum power and the greatest ease. Part 4 is Cultivate Relationships, and Chapter 7 is Mending Ruptures, about the day-to-day relationship rifts that cause strain: Tiny things we do that put space between us and our loved ones.

She lists a bunch of "Connection Diseases" like being distracted, busy, disappointed, bored, annoyed, and having unresolved conflicts - and gives advice on how to cure these.

Today I read about annoyance and the antidote - acceptance. She describes herself as a sensitive person who gets her buttons pushed easily. Her coping practice is the one I've recently read about elsewhere: Feel where I am holding the emotion - pay attention to my body and the places that the irritation is lodging: My neck and shoulders, my jaw, my chest - and loosen annoyance's hold. Secondly, I can try thinking about the Need the other person is Needing: Autonomy? Harmony? Lunch?  

This is a big deal for me and what I am calling my Zen Grandma practice, remembering that it's not always about me!

2. Ongo journal:

I'm going back through this book by Catherine Madden and Jesse Weiss Chu (2022), focussing on the solo practices. I'm on week 6, and Day 3 is Taking Inventory. This section is about "being able to acknowledge, love, and empathize with the Needs behind a thought, word or action", even if I don't agree with it.

 

The practice: Make an inventory list of all the things I'd like to empathize with, both for myself and others.

3. Heart brainstorm:

Today I am brainstorming some goals and resolutions for how I nurture my community and family life, for February and March. I know I'd better start with small steps that I can easily maintain. My ideas so far:

• Continue to grow in leadership, teamwork and equanimity skills. Give attention to ways to inspire hope for myself and my community, with my witness for the earth.
• Listen patiently and seek the truth which other people’s opinions may contain for me. Listen to the needs under the emotion, and respond gently and with compassion.
• Find creative ways to include ceremony and witchcraft in my social life, as a way to create a shift in our paradigm.
• Volunteer: With Earthcare, with clerking, and with Serena.

4. Forced Blossoms:

Newly cut branches of forsythia and quince. 

Folks also display flowers, fruits, and plants at Chinese New Year because they are a symbol of nature’s reawakening in the spring. They decorate their homes with heaping platters of tangerines and oranges, and vases filled with beautiful spring flowers. 

It’s easy to encourage branches of flowering trees to bloom early. If you plan it carefully, the first blossoms may open on Chinese New Year’s Day, which foretells a year of prosperity for you!

1. Go outside today to look for branches of peach, plum, forsythia, quince, apple, or lilac. Look for branches with many round, fat flower buds (these look different than the longer, thinner leaf buds).

2. Cut the branches and bring them inside. Pound the ends of the branches a bit with a hammer, and put them into a vase filled with lukewarm water.

3. The next day, change the water for cooler water. Put the branches in a cool room, and wait for the buds to open. It will take one to three weeks.

5. Make a Tray of Togetherness:
I went to the Chinese American Family blog to find out how to make a Tray of Togetherness, which is the customary arrangement of sweets used to welcome guests at Chinese New Year.

To make one, you will need a sectional serving platter with 6 - 8 compartments, and a selection of traditional symbolic candies, dried fruits, nuts and other bite-sized treats. "The general notion is that offering guests these sweet nibbles wishes them a sweet life in the year ahead, with each individual item conveying additional hopes for prosperity, longevity and the like. Practically speaking, putting out a Tray of Togetherness is like serving hors d’oeuvres — it’s a helpful social prop to facilitate conversation among friends."

The blog has a long list of possible treats, and their symbolic meaning. A few year's ago I chose (clockwise)- 

• Sesame Balls - Gold and Prosperity
• Candied Winter Melon - Good Health and Longevity
• Dried Kumquats - Gold and Prosperity
• Candied Ginger - Good Health and Longevity
• Candied Lotus Seeds - Fertility and Many Offspring
• Fruit Candies - Sweet Happiness in the Year Ahead

All that’s left is to take the cover off your tray each time you receive guests! Make sure that you keep each compartment filled to the brim, because the point is to convey a sense of prosperity and abundance — it’s bad luck to let your Tray of Togetherness go empty during Chinese New Year.

6. Kitchen God Good-bye Ceremony: 

Each Chinese New Year I put up a new portrait of the kitchen god and his wife, and they hang all year in my kitchen. 

Tsao-wang and Wang Bo-jia watch the daily life of the household and keep a written record of everything that goes on - whether the family is tidy or messy, honest or sneaky, thrifty or wasteful. It’s a little like having Santa watching all year, to see if you’ve been good or bad!

These god images are a visual reminder to me to have integrity in my home life. 

Today I will send them off to heaven to make their report, which requires a special ceremony to honor the two. 

Thoughts about this: I practice this ceremony with kids so that they will have a visceral understanding of another culture. I make it clear that it's symbolic: We are setting the intention to be the best persons we can be in this new year.

Kitchen God on his way to heaven.

My ceremony this year with my grandson:

1. We will light candles and incense near the Kitchen God’s picture. 

2. Picture all the good things that have happened in our kitchen over the year - all the family dinners, tea with friends (not so much lately), toddler art, and mindful meals I have prepared.

3. Then we will take down the picture, make a fire outside, and burn it. The gods fly skyward with the smoke, and I say a silent prayer of thanks for the compassionate spirit of love acting in my life. 

After Little New Year, we leave the niche empty for seven days. During this week, the family feels free to be self-indulgent in the kitchen. We can cook many sweets and deep-fried goodies, because the Kitchen God isn’t watching!