Self-Discipline

Winter Stillness detail

I long for greater self-discipline, so that I could be a productive artist, stay on top of my committee work and lesson plans, keep my home spotless, and still have time for writing and contemplation. 

My husband says I'm amazing and I do a lot. But I feel dissatisfied- I'd like to get to a deeper place with my painting and I'd like to have better self-control with my bad habits. I just turned 62, so (the way I see it) I've got at least 20 more years to prove to myself that I can be a creative genius!

Agenda:
1. Journal queries
2. Study stoic philosophy
3. Envision, hold, explore
4. Schedule time and keep it sacred

1. Journal queries:

What is the mystery that I want to express?

What "big truth" could I shine a light on?
What are the visual images that are catching my attention?
What am I doing instead of painting and why?

2. Study stoic philosophy:
The ancient Stoic philosophers used discipline as a tool in their journey towards a life lived well. Epictetus listed three disciplines: Amor Fatior, the loving acceptance of one’s fate, which was for living in harmony with the nature of the universe as a whole; Hormêor, or impulse to ethical action, for living in harmony with humans; and Sunkatathesis, which is mindfulness, for living in harmony with our own essential nature, with reason and truthfulness in thoughts, speech, and action.

“We should every night call ourselves to an account; What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abort of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift.” ― Seneca

When I apply stoic discipline to my art practice, I find these ways to proceed: 

Every morning I discern what is important to me today, and re-commit to making art.

Every evening I ask myself what I have learned about life and art. 

In between, I practice being satisfied- and joyful- with my art making and with my art! 

3. Envision, hold, explore: 

I am a painter- no matter how often I give it up, I eventually admit that it's what I do. I took some time off from painting (as usual) in December to work on Christmas projects. Now I'm ready to start again- I'm hungry, restless, and eager to paint-- but that doesn't mean it's easy to start. Starting is hard!

It's difficult to find my creative energy after a break-- much easier to play some solitaire, or even clean the toilet.

My traditional starting point is to choose a working theme to explore, or a title for a series, and this month I've settled on "Winter Stillness". 

I've been holding that idea in my mental pocket, taking it out periodically to look at, shining it up a bit, and putting it back. Yesterday I painted a first small exploration to get my juices flowing.

4. Schedule time and keep it sacred: 

I have an hour for painting on my schedule at ten each morning-- it's not enough time, but it's all I have right now. 

I schedule painting at ten because by then I've had my morning walk, and I'm finished with lesson plans and committee work responsibilities (so they won't nag at my brain), and I still have creative energy available.

Still I find it hard to transition to art work: I can't seem to stop what I'm doing and move to my studio to paint. So then I fritter away 15 minutes and have less time- not enough to really do anything- so why bother at all?

This year I've begun to use a Pomodoro timer, and this is my plan for staying on task:

1. Early in the morning, list some specific art tasks to work on today.
2. Gather the supplies for these tasks in advance, and set them out where I can see them. 
3. At 10:00, set the timer for 25 minutes. Work with full engagement. If something distracts me, write it down, but continue to work.
4. When the timer goes off, take a 5-minute break to step back and get a cup of tea, then repeat with another 25 minutes.