The Happiness Habit

My focus this May is joy, contentment, self expression and play, and so this month I've been blogging some of my ideas on this subject. And because I'm preparing to go to my son's wedding this week, I'm especially looking at how to feel content in a crowd - not an easy ask. 

Agenda this Month:

1. Read (and Practice) the Happiness Habit

2. Celebrate the good bits

1. Read (and Practice) the Happiness Habit:

I'm reading a book called "Happiness is a Habit: Simple Daily Rituals that Increase Energy, Improve Well-being, and Add Joy to Every Day", by Michele Phillips. 

Habit 7 is Eliminate What is Not Working. Now she has gotten to the core issue: She says, "It's not that people have a lack of time, but a lack of priorities," and I agree wholeheartedly. When I eliminate everything possible that doesn't directly support my priorities, I am freed of a great burden. Not everything I do to support my priorities is going to be easy or stress-free, but taking on a challenge for a cause or value that I believe in will give me just enough of an energy boost to carry me through; if it's not doing that, I should re-evaluate. 

Here's the rub: We cannot predict whether or not something we work for, that is important to us, will, in deed, give us happiness or fulfillment, in the short or the long run. We have to be willing to take a leap of faith. And we need to create our own sense of happiness despite it all.  

Habit 8 is Move Your Body Every Day. Sure. My workout these days is pushing a trike around the neighborhood, and dancing with a toddler in the living room (mostly spins). My weight training is carrying said toddler (who is a little heavier each day, especially when sleeping). It does make me happy that I am fit enough to keep up.

Habit 9 is Listen to Audiobooks. I used to do that on my walk to work, and it was a great time to listen to my favorite Buddhist teacher. But now my walks are almost always with a toddler. I think I can reinstate this habit on weekends. Note to self: Make a date with Pema Chodron.

2. Celebrate the Good Bits:

My son's wedding is tomorrow and today we are driving upstate to start the celebration. I don't have a role in the plans, so I will be able to relax - right?

Actually, just thinking about unscheduled time makes me nervous; I'm not in control of my life for the next few days! Will I get bored? Overwhelmed? Will I feel like I was an integral part of this wedding? So, here's how I plan to celebrate, find joy and peace, and be useful and involved over the next 3 days:

1. See family and meet new family. My role: Introduce everyone; remember names.
2. Escape for a walk in the beauty of the gardens. My role: Push the trike (Yes, I'm taking the trike!); give my daughter a child break.
3. Share a big meal together tonight. My role: Be curious and find out as much as I can about each guest.
4. Enjoy the venue (soaking pool, music, art). My role: Take candid photos.
5. Take a nap. My role: Designated toddler nap-guardian.
6. Enjoy the ceremony tomorrow. My role: Mother of the groom - be proud, cry a little!
7. Enjoy the After-Party. (Will there be a receiving line? Photo shoot? Am I going to make a toast?) My role: Breathe and mingle, mingle and breathe.