February Thoughts

February is a month of expectation and quiet growth. The grey veil of winter is still in place, but tinged with pink around the edges and exciting with potential. My dreams may still be dormant, but I can feel them swelling, ready to burst into bloom. I have great hopes for this spring!

The cold, wet days of February are perfect for prayer, reading, writing, contemplation of the deep questions of life, and listening for leadings and inspirations. It's time, though, to step out of the cloister a little and gently re-enter the world of personal relationships. In February I consider love, family, and friendships, as well as self-love and care.

February is also a time of clearing away the excess to make room for growth. I prune my trees, I prune out clutter in my home, and in my heart and my mind. The weather can be frustrating, though; I long to get outside to dig and to feel the sun! I need patience - I know the seeds are growing underground and the ideas are growing in my heart - warmth and sustenance will bring the growth I want.

Agenda:
1. February queries

2. Read It's a Meaningful Life
3. Vow practice

4. Household order

1. February queries:

What do I want to receive into my life and my heart?
To whom do I want to extend the pink light of Love?

What is waiting to bloom in me this year? 
What is the clutter in my heart that I can prune away?

2. Read "It's a Meaningful Life:

I've been re-reading "It's a Meaningful Life; It Just Takes Practice," by Bo Lozoff (2000). Chapter three is You Can Do Hard, about changing bad habits into good ones.

Bo says, "Changing for the better is not only within our reach, it is also one of our prime responsibilities as members of the human community.  ... The world needs us to become joyful and enlightened human beings".

The premise of this chapter is that in our society we are encouraged to make life easy by giving up when things get hard; we take the easy way out with medication, divorce, and shopping. Bo talks about the people he has met who have endured torture and trauma and have become compassionate and wise people. We can do hard.

"This is the first step toward understanding the process of real, lasting change: simply knowing with certainty that you can do whatever you need to do. This understanding has a dual edge: On the one hand it increases your confidence and dignity. On the other hand, it places full responsibility on you if you fail to make the change you set out to make".

The second step is being honest with myself while discerning what change would best suit my true self-improvement; and the third step is understanding that the efforts I make toward change are "potent spiritual curricula," and self-discipline is a useful quality in and of itself.

3. Vow practice:

Bo Lozoff suggests that the best way to make change happen is to take a vow in the presence of others. He outlines three steps;

1. Prepare with prayer, reflection, and discussion, considering how this change will affect your life; and work on the exact wording of your vow.
2. Declare it in a ceremony, with witnesses.
3. Implement the vow; recite it every day, and abide by it day by day.

A few years ago I made a vow to "have no fights," and it made it public, and pretty much stood by it for a good long time. It created a shift in me that I really liked: I was able to have the self-discipline to stay silent when I felt criticized or micro-managed, something that usually makes me lash out with a quick temper.

But my self-discipline around that change has crumbled a little, and I've drifted back to fighting more often than I like. It's time to renew my vow!

I vow to strive to hold my temper when I feel angry or insulted, take time to find the grain of truth in the situation, and a loving response.

4. Household Order:

One of New Year's resolutions is to care for my land with discipline and ritual, and create a home that is a peaceful and well-ordered sanctuary for those I love. 

February is when I feel a big urge to purge and simplify every room in the house - to keep only the things I need and find beautiful, and give away the rest. Clearing even a small space, like my sock drawer or kitchen table, gifts me with feeling of peace and joy. My plan this month is to: 

1. Reexamine all my stuff one room at a time, and see what else I'm ready to let go of.
2. Find new, creative ways to store my stuff so it looks tidy and is easy to put away. Aim for "minimalistic abundance".
3. Return to the habit of putting things away immediately - no more stacking! (This is an integrity ritual: The practice of cleaning up after myself and putting everything back in its home spot!)
   

This week I've been working in the kitchen, checking pull dates, tossing all the old jars of food and spices, clearing the counters and the refrigerator, and restocking the emergency pantry.