Thanksgiving Day

I'm excited and anxious for Thanksgiving this year because it's my family's first big meal together indoors since the start of the pandemic. We are different people now, with two new members, and lots of water under the bridge.

I'm anxious about hosting a huge meal, providing the right atmosphere, and remaining calm in the chaos of a multi-generational gathering. I want everyone to feel comfortable and relaxed, not overworked or stressed - including myself. 

How can I help to make it a great day for everyone and also retain my own contentment?

In order to set this day apart, I will treat it as a Sabbath … no unkind words, no rushing, no work that isn’t thankful work. I choose to stay present, notice everything as if in slow motion, and pause often to observe what I am thankful for in the moment.

Agenda:

1. Thanksgiving Meditation for Peace and Abundance

2. Cook the turkey

3. Honor my pilgrim ancestors and the Wampanoag people

4. Honor the Day of Mourning
5. Give thanks

1. Thanksgiving Meditation for Peace and Abundance:

In order to start the morning right, I began giving thanks before I got out of bed. I plan to stay in a thanksgiving meditation as long as I can ...Take a deep breath and feel deep gratitude for what I have, for the abundance of having a home, a family and friends. I am thankful for the things I usually take for granted. I am thankful that I AM ALIVE.

I give thanks for my warm bed, for my slippers, my dog, my sleeping family, my clean kitchen, and my morning cup of coffee. I pray that my friends and family stay safe and well.

I give thanks for the pies on the table, this lovely bird, and the abundance of food in the refrigerator. I pray that others find enough food today to feel full and satisfied.

I give thanks for a home of peace, and a town with no riots or bombing. I pray for peace and justice for my brothers and sisters all over the world.

2. Cook the turkey and the stuffing:

We plan to eat at two, and I’m cooking a 22 lb. turkey today, so it will go into the oven at 8:30. I'll start the stuffing later, at about 10, and put it in to bake, with the turkey but not in the turkey.

My daughters are bringing pies, potatoes, and a salad; my son is bringing his signature simple cranberry sauce; and W is making Brussels sprouts with bacon. At noon I'll set up a big table in the living room for the six adults, and two high chairs for the kids, and I'll make gravy at the last minute, and later, whipped cream and decaf.

With my schedule on my planner, I can relax and flow with the day as it unfolds, which will not be as planned! When things go sideways, which they will, I will take a breath, touch my heart, and remember how blessed I am to have my family around me.

3. Honor my pilgrim ancestors and the Wampanoag people:

Last year I wrote about my pilgrim ancestors, Stephen Hopkins and his daughter Constance, from whom my grandpa Jay Alborn is descended. Stephen was a pretty amazing man. He sailed to Jamestown in 1609, when he was 30, employed as a minister's clerk; he was shipwrecked in the Bermudas, finally made it to Jamestown in 1610, where he stayed until 1614. When his wife in England died, he sailed back to collect his orphaned children, re-marry, and sail again for the New World, this time aboard the Mayflower.

Stephen was not a puritan separatists from Holland like many of the "pilgrims"; I guess he REALLY did not want to live in England. In any case, he brought his second wife Elizabeth, and children Constance - also known as "Constanta" - (age 14), Giles (about 15), and Damaris (age 3) on board the Mayflower in 1620, along with two servants. They set sail on September 6, 1620, for New England, with about 102 passengers. For 66 storm-tossed days the passengers suffered their passage across a wintry Atlantic Ocean.

The Mayflower came to anchor in what is now Provincetown Harbor, on the morning of November 11, 1620. On November 15, Myles Standish, William Bradford, Stephen Hopkins, and 13 other men set out on the first significant exploration. They had only been walking a mile, when they saw ahead of them about six Native American men and a dog coming their way. The Native people ran into the forest, and the Pilgrims could not find them.

The Pilgrims continued to explore the area, trying to find a suitable spot for a settlement. On December 6, a party of 16 men, including Stephen Hopkins, sailed along the coast looking for rivers and bays, until on December 12 they returned to the Mayflower with the news that they had found the place; on December 16 the Mayflower sailed into Plymouth Harbor.
The Pilgrims founded their colony at the site of an abandoned Wampanoag village called Patuxet, at what is now Plymouth, Massachusetts. 

Up until 1616, four years before my ancestors landed, the coastal community of Patuxet was one of dozens belonging to the Mashpee Wampanoag Tribe, and the Mashpees were only one of the Wampanoag tribes spread throughout the New England region. It’s estimated that there were 69 Wampanoag villages, and upwards of a few thousand Natives per village. The Wampanoag called the region home for more than 12,000 years. 

The name Wampanoag means People of the First Light. In the summer months, they lived close to the water where food was more abundant, and then as the weather got colder, they moved inland. They had a government structure, with delegates from each village who would meet with each other, discussing issues and collectively making policies and rules that would be in the best interest of everyone. The villages were pretty much in constant communication with each other. It was really an idyllic setting, with an abundance of food for everyone.

I found an article on the Atlas Obscura called Before Plymouth Colony and the Pilgrims, There Was Patuxet, which includes an interview with Steven Peters, a Mashpee Wampanoag. 

"In 1614, some traders came into the region. One of them was Thomas Hunt, who docked off of the village of Patuxet. For one reason or another he decided to take some of the young men as slaves. One of them was Tisquantum, who they take back and sell (in Europe). It’s important to understand that’s how Tisquantum learns English (before being able to return to Patuxet around 1619).

The Europeans also desecrated Native graves. They referred to the Natives as savages for a reason: it allows you to dehumanize. It allowed them to not treat us with the same rules they would a European. Desecrating graves would not have been against their moral code, because (to them) we were not human.

 

In 1616, we think the village of Patuxet becomes ground zero for what became the Great Dying. There was a plague that ripped through the Wampanoag nation where there are estimates of over 100,000 Wampanoag dying in just three short years. There were accounts of a French fishing ship that had wrecked off the coast of Patuxet, and of some of the fishermen coming into the village exhibiting signs of sickness, with yellowing of the skin and fever, and dying. Shortly after that, the plague just starts to rip right through the Wampanoag nation. Everyone in Patuxet either dies or fled the village, and they never returned. And that’s how the village of Patuxet ends up vacant in 1620 when the Pilgrims arrived. We know that the Pilgrims knew about the Great Dying, and they also must have known that that village of Patuxet was empty when deciding to make that Plymouth Colony."

Peter surmises that the surviving Wampanoag allowed the Pilgrims to stay because they needed an ally against encroaching tribes from the south; because of the Great Dying, their political position was compromised. It was a harsh winter, and both parties needed each other.

Unfortunately, the Pilgrims were not ready for the bitter cold New England weather; nearly half of the 100 settlers died that first winter. Only 5 of the 18 adult women survived the first winter. In fact, every family except the Hopkins family suffered at least one death.

In late September or early October of 1621, the Pilgrims held a 3-day harvest celebration in Plymouth with 90 Wampanoag men. My ancestors Stephen Hopkins, and his daughter Constance (age 15) were present at the first Thanksgiving. Stephen, Constance, and her progeny lived in Plymouth for several generations.

The Mashpee Wampanoag tribe, who my ancestors displaced, are still fighting for sovereignty and land rights. The lands of the Mashpee Wampanoag Reservation today represent less than one half of one percent of their original territories. In 2007 after a decades long legal process, the Mashpee Wampanoag Tribe was finally federally recognized, however they are the only federally recognized Tribe in New England that does not have any statute that establishes protection for their land.

Text of a plaque on Cole's Hill:

"Since 1970, Native Americans have gathered at noon on Cole's Hill in Plymouth to commemorate a National Day of Mourning on the US Thanksgiving holiday. Many Native Americans do not celebrate the arrival of the Pilgrims and other European settlers. To them, Thanksgiving Day is a reminder of the genocide of millions of their people, the theft of their lands, and the relentless assault on their culture. Participants in a National Day of Mourning honor Native ancestors and the struggles of Native peoples to survive today. It is a day of remembrance and spiritual connection as well as a protest of the racism and oppression which Native Americans continue to experience."

For more information, see my post from Thanksgiving 2022.

4. Give thanks:
Thankfulness is a powerful and transforming emotion. I hope to take time to feel each nuance of the day, to feel gratitude for each person present, and for each dish offered; and give thanks for the food, all the way back to its source and all who handled it on the way to our table.

I hope to take the time to connect deeply with the people I am with and appreciate each person’s uniqueness, and I challenge myself to remain calm and centered in the chaos.