Change my Beliefs

"If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?" ~ Robert Anthony

Agenda:

1. Read "Present Moment Awareness"

2. Ponder this

3. Ongo Journal

4. Spiritual growth intention

1. Read "Present Moment Awareness":

I've been reading this book by Shannon Duncan (2001) that takes awareness one step at a time: First, body and senses; then beliefs and limitations; then emotions; and finally, reactivity. It seems like a straightforward plan!

Now I'm moving to the second section: The Illusion of Limitations, about how our beliefs seem so real. "It is a sign of mental health to question the validity of our own thoughts, which is an acknowledgement of the liquid nature of truth."

My beliefs form the drama about who I think I am and how my life is. And I cling to those beliefs tightly. I have an immense range of likes and dislikes, wants and don't wants, can and can't dos. I can notice and challenge these if they are limiting me in anyway.

2. Ponder this:

I'm working on examining the thought that, "When someone is critical of something I say or do, it is an attack on my intelligence that I must reject or face humiliation." I don't remember being criticized much as a child, but I do remember being belittled and not taken seriously, treated as immature. I struggled to get respect and attention from my father, certainly, and this has affected me my whole life.

Another belief I've recently uncovered is that, "I am never going to be wise enough. I cannot grow and evolve as much as I need to be the wise woman I want to be. I'm running out of time."

In both cases, respect (and self-respect) are the needs I am seeking. My mantra this week is "I am growing and becoming wise at just the right rate."

3. Ongo Journal:

Last night the practice for the group Ongo session was self-empathy. I worked on the thought that I'm not wise enough; the feelings of frustration and urgency; the needs for patience, self-respect, and acknowledgement that I am enough as I am.

The final step was to name a request for action, and what came to me was to continue to use growth and evolution as a meditation, and name how I am growing.

4. Spiritual growth intention:

The work I need to do for spiritual growth is deep study, practice, openness, and inviting an accepting community. The practice I'm doing this week is to set a small daily intention.

 

Today: I intend to be a wise grandmother for my grandsons, let go of anxiety and impatience and be in the moment with their needs.