August 30, 2015

Equanimity on the Sabbath

Today is Sunday, which I celebrate as my Sabbath-- meaning that I keep it simple, slow-paced, and peaceful. 
Autumn Flowers- acrylic on board
It’s not possible for me to do NO work on the Sabbath, but I schedule very little work, and my work has a different focus and flavor. I take time out from busy-ness so I can practice deepening my inner life-- how I feel, how I behave, and how I connect.

My theme this month is balance, and I've decided to contemplate today how to bring a little balance to the swings I have in my temper. I have a well-developed amygdala- the reptilian brain- that sometimes hijacks me at the smallest hint of unfairness, criticism, or disrespect. My logic and self-control abandon me more often than I'd like, and I become befuddled, or snap out hurtful words.

I wish I could consistently draw on my equanimity-- that strength and stability that's available to me when I stay grounded and calm. With equanimity I am better able to stay poised under stress, and even-tempered in the middle of whatever is happening.

Equanimity opens doors: It allows me to be feel love without clinging to it, and fear without retreating. I am able to take on bigger challenges without scaring people off or collapsing in a puddle of anxiety.

Sabbath Plan:
1. All Day Meditation:
I begin my celebration of the Sabbath right away when I awaken-- I pause before jumping out of bed to remember God, and acknowledge that I have God within. I hold that remembering through the day, lightly, like a dove resting on my shoulder (I like to picture myself brushing the wings of Spirit with my loving attention). I remember to smile, and allow compassion to shine.

2. Journal:
Think about situations where I have recently lost my temper.

What specific feelings were involved? (anxiety, frustration, sadness, anger?)
What thought spurred the feeling, and was it really warranted?

From my journal: I just finished a week-long camp with three six-year-olds, and frustration was the flavor of the week... one thought was “Why didn’t you pay attention when I just now showed you how to do that?” I know that’s an unrealistic expectation.

3. Equanimity Practice:
I gave myself a henna tattoo last night as a reminder off my theme!

I know how to be calm. But calmness under stress is not easy: It takes effort and it takes practice.

In order to make it a habit, I practice the steps just like one would practice the piano. These steps engage me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. When I get in shape, I can speed-shift through the steps in 10-seconds.

1. Ground: Stand with my feet planted firmly on the floor, and breathe slowly until I feel solidly connected to the earth.

2. Name my feeling (frustration, for example).

3. Soften my heart: It doesn't work to repress or deny what I am feeling, so I hold the feeling in love and light. Buddhists call it "leaning in". I accept that I'm feeling frustrated again, and forgive myself.

4. Open my mind: This is where I consider what is true about the situation, and say something to myself like "Cynth, you are not being realistic. Six-year-olds are not meant to stay focused and quiet".

5. Pray: "Let the Light of Love shine through me. I am calm, cool, and grounded."

Here is a graphic I made to tape to my mirror - go ahead and make a copy for yourself!


"It's easy to continue, even after years of practice, to harden into a position of anger and indignation. However, if we can contact the vulnerability and rawness of resentment or rage or whatever it is, a bigger perspective can emerge. In the moment that we choose to abide with the energy instead of acting it out and repressing it, we are training in equanimity, in thinking bigger than right and wrong." –Pema Chodron

August 14, 2015

New Hungry Ghost Moon

The Chinese call the seventh new moon the Hungry Ghost Moon. This whole month is called Ghost Month, and special ceremonies take place today, and on the full moon, and again on the last day of the month. 

Today the Hungry Ghosts are let out of hell to roam the earth, looking for entertainment, and seeking out their enemies. The Hungry Ghosts have two incarnations- they are the spirits of unhappy, homeless souls, and also they are a symbol of our unhealthy cravings and insatiable greed. They are depicted with huge, round bellies, large mouths, and very thin necks. They are always hungry, but never satisfied.

The new moon is my monthly time for “seeding” intentions. I write down what I hope to focus on in the next 30 days or so, and then give my ideas a period of gestation, like seeds in the soil, before I take action. Having this regular time each month to focus my goals has helped to give me clarity of purpose.


Agenda for Today:
1. Journal:
What might give my life more wholeness?
What am I hungry for? 
What are my unhealthy cravings and how can I release them?
What are my next steps in life?

List my intentions for the next month (August-July) in these areas-
Self, Friends and Family, Teaching, Artwork, Writing, Home and Garden, Work/Business, and Volunteer work.

2. New Moon Meditation:
Light a small white candle. Center, and feel myself fill with thankfulness for all I have now in my life.

3. Plan:
As the moon waxes, I expand-- plant seeds, make connections, and begin new projects. Today I will plan my first small steps.

4. Ghost Ceremony:
Today, the first day of the Ghost Month, I light incense for my unknown ancestors and all the other wandering souls. I'm not afraid that they will attack me, but I think the least I can do is take a moment to send peaceful wishes.

After I've said a little prayer to those Hungry Ghosts, I think a moment about my own hungry ghosts-- the cravings I have for comfort, cookies, and getting my way in life. As the incense burns, I picture my greediness floating away.