The Transformative Power of Giving Thanks

Giving thanks does not come naturally for me; I do have feelings of gratitude, but I just find it hard to express them without sounding awkward or insincere - even in my head. 

Noticing my feelings of abundance is a good first step, though - When I notice how blessed I am, I become more optimistic and peaceful; my impatience decreases and I realize how satisfied and fulfilled I am. 

Also, noticing feelings of gratitude helps to keep me humble. I depend on the love, kindness, and support of others at all times, and on the bounty and generosity of nature. All that I have comes from others, just as I contribute to the lives of others in many ways. The exchange is continuous.

Gratitude is a fundamental feeling. When I think about gratitude as an essential part of love it becomes easier to remember to express it.

1. Read "Grateful"

2. Make Thanksgiving cards

3. Make pies

4. Daily Hours of prayer

5. Blessings Walks

6. Examen

1. Read "Grateful":

I'm reading a book called "Grateful: The Transformative Power of Giving Thanks," by Diana Butler Bass. I've been jumping around, reading a bit of the first part, which covers the Why, then flipping forward to the middle for the How, which is what I struggle with.

In the prologue she talks about "cheap gratitude" - the kind that gives personal comfort (I'm grateful for my prosperity and success), versus a spiritual awareness of gratitude that becomes "a radical, transformative experience of wholeness and connection". She also talks about a social structure of Gift-and-Response: Gifts bring forth gratitude, and we express our appreciation by passing on gifts to others.

"The universe is a gift. Life is a gift. Air, light, soil, and water are gifts. Friendship, love, sex, and family are gifts. We live on a gifted planet. Everything we need is here, with us. We freely respond to these gifts by choosing a life of mutual care."

"At its simplest level, gratitude involves feelings. We feel thankful. ... As a feeling, however, gratitude is more complex than, say, happiness or sadness. Gratitude involves a set of emotional responses that merge with certain circumstances to cause us to feel what we experience as gratitude."

Gratitude is an unplanned response, a feeling that arises naturally, when we recognize a situation or event as a gift of some sort.  For example, if something lost is returned, we might feel a combination of relief, appreciation, and gladness. When we receive an unexpected gift we might feel surprise, love, and joy. When we finish a big project, we might feel resolution, satisfaction, and thankfulness for our helpers. These combined emotions are what trigger the gratitude, and the particular emotions range widely.

"There is no one experience of gratitude; rather it is a complex and episodic thing, and one that is deeply emotional."

2. Make Thanksgiving cards:

I am continuing the tradition I started years ago of making a thanksgiving card to give my friends. This year I used a painting by my grandson, and cut it up. 

I've been writing notes each morning to friends and family to express my gratitude that they are in my life, trying to touch on the particular combination of emotions that describe my feelings for each one.

3. Make the pies:

This recipe card is very old!

Today I will start the pies! My pumpkin pie recipe-

Ingredients:

• 4 c. pumpkin
• 1/2 c. milk
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 c. sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 tsp. each ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg

Makes one large pie-

1- Make the pastry and line the pie plate. Preheat the oven to 450ºF.

2- Put half of the pumpkin and half of the milk in the blender with one egg and blend until pureed.

3- Pour into a mixer bowl, and repeat with the second batch.

This is a double batch- enough for two pies.

4- Add sugar, salt, and spices to the mixer bowl and mix on low, then pour into pie shell.

5- Bake at 450ºF for 10 minutes, then lower the heat to 375ºF and bake for 45 minutes.

This year I had a helper to roll the pie crusts. We've been practicing with play-doh for a few days!

4. Daily Hours of prayers:

Chapter 4 of Grateful is titled Intentional Practice. The author begins by talking about making time for daily prayers of thanksgiving. 

"For more than a thousand years in Christian societies, the hours of work were interwoven with hours of prayer, forming a cycle of morning, noon, and evening rituals practiced by laity, monks, nuns, and priests. The same is true for Muslims, Jews, and Buddhists. The hallowing of the hours in a day is fundamental to a faithful life, and remembering blessings and giving thanks is a shared practice across world religions".

She talks a lot about the daily Hours or daily Office, an ancient practice that uses daily prayers to mark the times of the day. Depending on the religion it could be as many as 12 times a day, or as few as 2. I looked at the history, and it seems that the Greeks borrowed the practice from the Jewish observation of daily prayers around the time of Christ, and the Christians borrowed it from the Greeks.

These seem to be prescribed prayers; that is, you read a certain prayer from a prayer book, one for each time of the day - morning, noon, and night. Many are prayers of thanksgiving, like Psalms 95: "O come, let us sing unto the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!"

While I'm drawn to the idea of a discipline of daily Hours, I'm pretty sure I can't pull it off, at least not with traditional prayers. For the last couple of weeks I've been practicing three different ways of marking the day with moments of gratitude:

1. Morning Grounding with the Earth and Expanding with the Sky practice.

2. Mid-day Blessings Walk.

3. Evening Examen practice (see below).

5. Blessings Walk:

I haven't been very disciplined with walking lately, but I'm going to walk every day this week, even if it's only around my yard. Since I'm often in charge of a young walker, I will keep my meditation short and to the point:

1. Gratitude: Begin my walk, and concentrate on everything I’m grateful for. Say, “I’m grateful for the fresh morning air; that I’m healthy, and my family is healthy; for my friends….” 

2. Wishes: Turn a corner, expand my awareness, and ask "What gifts do I want today, for myself and for others?"

3. Intentions: Turn another corner, and create a clear picture of

 steps I intend to take today, towards abundance.

4. Prayer: Turn the last corner, and speak this prayer out loud as I’m moving: “I am a limitless being, accepting from a limitless source, in an infinite way. I am incredibly blessed, and deeply grateful.”

6. Examen: 

I am attracted to the Jesuit evening practice of Daily Examen (pronounced Ex-Ay-men), a prayerful reflection on the events of the day in order to discern God's direction for us. I looked at the Ignatian version here - here are the five-steps, with my edited comments:

1. Become aware of God’s presence: Welcome my Inner Guide, and ask for clarity. 

2. Review the day with gratitude: Invite my Inner Guide to review the day with me. Picture the day's blessings, gifts, and small pleasures, and give thanks.

3. Pay attention to my emotions: What is my Inner Guide saying to me with these feelings that arise around my blessings? Make note of any insights.

4. Choose one feature to pray from: Ask my Inner Guide to point to one thing (a feeling, or encounter, or event, or whatever) from the day and allow a prayer to arise spontaneously from my heart.

5. Look toward tomorrow: Ask for Light, guidance, hope, and love for tomorrow's challenges.