Family Love and Joy

During this week of Advent my theme is "family love and joy". Of course, the joy of the season is spontaneous and un-planable, but I do these three things to create the right conditions:

My children painted these plaster houses when they were young.

• Take the time to consider what my friends and family will want most this season. In other words, I become less self-focused and more generous in all ways. 
• Be respectful, flexible, patient, and kind (no matter how stressed I feel).
• Take care of myself so I can be calm and present for the spontaneous joy when it arises.

These are obviously year-round aspirations, but I need a daily reminder now, because, somehow, everything seems more important: I have expectations (both of myself and others) about how things should go, and that never works.

Agenda this week:

1. Read a novena

2. Daily love journal

3. Read "Soulful Simplicity"

4. Self-care plans

5. Check in with my family

6. Card-writing practice

1. Read a novena:

Today is the second day of the Christmas Novena, a Catholic ritual of a prayer recited or sung during the nine days leading up to Christmas Day. I've been reading this Creation Novena from the Indian Catholic Matters site:

Day 2: A Prayer for the Animals 

Creator God, we give thanks for the animals and for the grand diversity of life you have created. We give thanks for the roles animals play in our lives, especially as our companions. We thank You for the wellbeing they bring us and for the glory they bring to your creation. As creation faces the wave of extinctions wrought by humankind, we ask You to strengthen us with prudence. In these days of preparation for Your Son, help us seek ways of living that allow all Your creatures to flourish. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen.

2. Daily love journal:

Last week I got out a special small journal that I call my love journal, and began to make note of times when I might need to draw on mindfulness and equanimity.

Today I will answer these queries:

How does joy manifest in my life? 

What creative ways can I find to communicate with each person in my family?

What activities do I most want to do with my family, and which might I enjoy doing alone? 

What self-care do I most need in order to be calm and present? 

How can I include my Nature family in my celebrations? What gifts can I offer to nature? 

 

3. Read "Soulful Simplicity":

This book by Courtney Carver (2017) is a personal journey through the author's life with MS, and along the way shows how "simplicity allowed hope to replace fear."

Chapter 8 is Put Your Hands on Your Heart. She describes a simple morning practice that starts with deep breathes, then quiet meditation for a few minutes. Then she suggests putting your hand on your heart and starting a conversation with your inner self. Ask:

• How are things going this week, month, year?
• How do I feel physically? emotionally?
• What do I love about my life? What and who makes me smile?
• What changes do I want to make? What new habits pique my interest? What could I subtract?
• What changes do I HAVE to make?

4. Self-care plans:

One of the things I do to open myself to joy and love is to take care of myself, so I can be calm and present for the spontaneous joy when it arises. This week I'm taking these four steps for self-care:

1. We both got Covid and RSV vaccines yesterday.
2. I am continuing my Advent fast - eating mostly vegetarian.
3. I'm taking a walk most days.
4. I'm practicing mindfulness and having conversations with my inner self.

5. Check in with my family:
Now that my kids are grown and living with their partners, they celebrate as separate family units, which is right and good. They are generous with their time, and include their old parents in many ways - texting me for ideas for gifts, dropping by to make cookies together or share a meal.

I do tend to get a little needy at this time of year, though, so I will have a personal talk (or perhaps a text "chat") with both of my children about who wants to do what and when, and be sure that my craving to be with my family is satisfied.

6. Card-writing practice:

Cards from Christmas 2020

Christmas cards are becoming a thing of the past, but I still like to send and receive them. Cards are pretty and personal. I especially enjoy getting cards with a brief hand-written note. I make my own cards nearly every year, but this year I'm using leftovers.

Each morning this week I plan to address a card or two and send them on their way with love.