Boy Days

We are caring for our grandsons for over 30 hours a week now, and that requires a great deal of energy, creativity, organization, and patience. I am building all of those carefully, with attention to health and resilience habits, and by being prepared with Grandma projects, outings, and art.

Agenda:

1. Love meditation

2. Read "One Year to an Organized Life"

3. Clean and clear the living room

4. Creativity with boys

5. Co-regulation plans

1. Love meditation:

Every month after the full moon, in the quiet-energy yin time of the waning moon, I practice a love meditation that progresses from receptivity, to gratitude, to generosity:

Day 1: Practice a love meditation, and open to receive blessings - send a prayer to the universe asking to be showered with love, kindness, health, and happiness.

1. 1 minute - Relax your body, and focus on the tender emotion of generous love. Allow a smile to settle on your face and in your heart.
2. 1 minute - Visualize love as soft, tingly, warm, pink light, and see it move from your heart to every part of your body so that every cell is glowing and vibrating.
3. 1 minute - Now see the pink light of love radiating to fill the whole room, then the whole city, and the whole planet earth.
4. 1 minute - See that all people, plants, and animals feel warm and happy.
5. 1 minute - Send an extra dose of love light to those people you want to have a better connection to.

2. Read "One Year to an Organized Life":

I'm enjoying this book by Regina Leeds (2008) so much that I ordered my own copy. The subtitle promises I will get "Completely Organized for Good"! While I don't consider myself to be hopelessly disorganized, I have identified several areas that need improvement.

The first section (January, week one) is Time Questions. I think I'm pretty good with time, but the event of leaving and returning from home does create some drama and chaos (such as forgetting to put my keys away, and leaving piles of books, groceries, and paperwork laying around), caused sometimes by time anxiety, and sometimes by impatience.

Also, I don't use my time to get as prepared for the day as I'd like - I need a designated block of time to set up for kid activities, art projects, teaching, and so on, either in the early morning or the night before.

3. Clean and clear the living room:
Every year in January I kick off a month of deep cleaning. My house has mold-related issues that are best done before we get any deeper into winter. Winter is also a great time to simplify possessions! I take it one room at a time, and this week I'll clean in the living room.

Extra chores this week:

• Houseplant care - Clean the leaves on the houseplants so. they can take in more winter light.
• Clear out one box of items we don't use: Put a bag by the door and clear the toy box and the craft cabinet; sort out some toys we don't use any more and pass them on.
• Woodwork - Wipe and dust the baseboards and clean the door frames. Scrub the mold off of the door and windowsills with detergent and warm water, then apply Borax solution and do not rinse, to help prevent mold from growing again.
• Walls - Fill nail holes and repaint. Move my paintings around and consider the lighting.

4. Creativity with boys:

It's been a while since I've gotten out the paints because of all the Christmas activities and clutter. This week I've gathered fresh supplies, and we have started some paintings!

Tips for art with toddlers and pre-schoolers:

1. Have all your supplies handy and easy to grab when the mood hits. I put washable tempera paints into squeeze bottles, a smock and brushes in a tub on a shelf, and I also have a cabinet with markers, crayons, paint pens, chalk, paper, and play-doh in the living room.

2. My painting set up is shown here: I have a plastic table cloth on the table in the living room, so I only need to set out the paper, put on his smock, and grab a bottle or two of paint. After I'm all set up I hand him one squeeze bottle. Be ready for paint everywhere, especially hands and face.

3. Youngsters have a very short attention span. Be prepared for art in 5 minute increments. After about 5-10 minutes, when interest starts to wain, it's time to cheerfully ask "All done?" and start to clean up. First I take away the paint and brush and, before he can escape with painty hands, we play in water and wash hands and face. (Clean up is part of the fun!) We paint in layers, working on the same project over several days, adding colored pencil, and tempera paint-stick drawing when the paint is dry.

Besides painting, I have some seasonal activity ideas, and will take time this week to make a project box or basket for each one: 

• Pine cone mobiles with beading
• Tree collage
• Yarn covered B for Bear

5. Co-regulation plans:
Besides the basics of being loving and providing a safe and structured environment, I also try to plan ways to model and coach self-regulation skills: Co-regulation is an "interactive process of regulatory support" that looks different for each age of kid, as their capacity for self-regulation grows.

My younger grandson (almost 2) needs me to purposely teach and model skills like waiting (i.e., brief delay of gratification) and using words to communicate his needs - but he's not old enough to really be able to self-regulate. 

My older grandson (4-1/2) needs much more coaching, such as emotion identification, problem-solving, perspective-taking, and calm-down strategies. It's really important that I model these skills. I also need to communicate clear rules and expectations, and use consistent natural or logical consequences provided firmly but calmly.

Both of them have a problem with transition time from one thing to another, especially leaving to go home. We need to remember that uncertainty and change can cause stress hormones to be released which interfere with impulse control. Play, laughter, and fun is extremely important- we can plan fun transition activities that boost relaxed or happy hormones, allowing for more flexible thinking. These happy hormones will work for me, too.  

I want to develop a "playful toolbox for tranquil transitions", and model positive behavior to help them both learn how to work through big emotions. I found this list of ideas:

1. Focus first on self-regulation: Pay attention to my own feelings and reactions during transitions, and my thoughts and beliefs about their behaviors. Use strategies to self-calm and respond effectively and compassionately - take a moment for some deep breaths or self-talk. Responding calmly helps to keep young people’s feelings from escalating and also models regulation skills.
2. Create a picture schedule of the week and day. Having a regular schedule for tv time, outdoor time, dance party time, legos, etc. provides comfort. Adding in “choice” times gives a child the ability to make decisions and feel independent, and demonstrates flexibility and resilience on our part. 
3. Use a timer. This lets everyone know how much time there is for an activity and how much time is left. You can use a simple kitchen timer, a visual timer, or even an app on a phone. Using visual or verbal countdowns can be especially helpful for task switching. 
4. Add a first/then choice. This is a flexible and powerful tool - i set a necessary activity and allow a child to choose the preferred paired activity. For example, I could say, first clean up and get dressed for outdoors, then we can skateboard. Pictures of boots and a skateboard posted on the schedule board serve as a visual reminder of the agreed-upon activities.
5. Deign a transition activity: Play favorite music, or sing a song while we clean up; Create a fun challenge. Set a timer for the transition, and work together to beat it; Play Red Light, Green Light as you move to your next destination; Water soothes. Consider pausing to have students wash their hands or faces, grab a drink of water, or even listen to the sounds of waves or a waterfall during transition.