Winter Days of Love

Christmas is over, and Soyal is winding down. We are settling into our new childcare routine, about 30 hours a week. Most of my friends think that sounds like a lot, but we know that these precious days are short: Next fall Grandson #1 will start kindergarten, and we will see him much less.

Today I want to write a bit about the love I feel for my family, and how to maximize the peace we have when we are together. 

Agenda:

1. Review the Divine Laws

2. Prayer candle ceremony

3. Read "Mindfulness-Based Emotional Balance Workbook"

4. Love plans for January

5. Plan a birthday retreat

1. 

Review the Divine Laws:

At Soyal, I review the Divine Laws, as I see them. A Divine Law is anything that comes directly from God: a natural law, universal truth, principle, or a rule of conduct that is inherent and essential in human society.

Today I will review my testimony of Love: Practice habits of listening, generosity, patience, care, and kindness with my community, my family, and the earth.

2. Prayer Candle ceremony:

I'm enjoying a daily prayer candle ceremony throughout Soyal, using small candles and candle ends and choosing a new candle to add each day.

Today I light a pink candle for love, and ask the Spirits to bring the rain of loving care down upon the whole world.

3. Read "Mindfulness-Based Emotional Balance Workbook":

I'm reading again from the Mindfulness-Based Emotional Balance Workbook, by Margaret Cullen and Gonzalo Brito Pons (2015). I got it after realizing that mindfulness might be the key to gaining the equanimity I crave. This is supposedly an "8-week program for Improved Emotional Regulation and Resilience". I'm going to take it much slower than 8-weeks.

My goal with this workbook is to find equanimity no matter what arises; to counter the effects of stress and build my resilience; to become physically stronger and resistant to illness; and to be happier, wiser, and more hopeful.

Chapter 2 is Emotions - What Drive Us, and What Drive Us Astray. I'm reading a section called "What Are Emotions?" - Emotions evolved in us as a part of our survival mechanism; we feel sad when we need comfort, feel angry when we need remove obstacles, and fearful when we need to flee. Emotions are automatic appraisers that are constantly scanning our experiences for threats and opportunities. Some emotional triggers are universal, and some are personal, perhaps from childhood trauma.

Emotions can also be triggered by remembering or imagining a past or future emotional scene, observing some else's emotions,  or even with role-playing.

The main thing to remember is that emotions are not our fault- they are automatic. They are a fundamental experience, generally quick to rise and quick to dispel, but they guide our actions, help us to set our priorities, and focus our energies in meaningful ways.

Our responses to emotions can be very functional, or they can be excessive. If we fall into a mood, such as irritability, or have a personality trait, such as a tendency for melancholy, these will affect how we react to emotions.

4. Love plans for January:

My big goal for the year is to build emotional resilience. My inkling of where to start is:

1. Practice mindfulness of the present moment
   —of all that’s going on inside and all that’s happening around me; not living on “autopilot.”
2. Observe how I react to everyday events, and how I respond to different emotions.
3. Practice equanimity: Vow to find inner peace and maintain a composed emotional response to situations.

5. Plan an extended birthday:

Today is my birthday, and I'll be with my family the entire day - first with each of my grandsons one at a time, then with my kids and grandkids at a meal and party. Lovely and also exhausting.

The way I plan to maintain calm today is by envisioning future days of retreat and relaxation, a time when I will have the whole day to myself to read and write, and work on fun projects. My plan this week:

• Outing to get a new coat and lunch
• Order myself some new books.
• Sew a chickadee appliqué.
• Have a bath and an early nap.
• Take an afternoon to catch up on my favorite tv shows!

6. Make Greek Yogurt Ranch:

As part of my plan to eat more veggies, I made this dip for carrot sticks:

Ingredients:

• 1 c. plain Greek yogurt
• 3/4 tsp. garlic powder
• 1/2 tsp. onion powder
• 1/2 tsp. dried dill
• 1/4 tsp. kosher salt
• 1/4 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
• 1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper

1. In a medium bowl, stir together all of the ingredients. Refrigerate in an airtight container for up to three days.