Empowerment

Empowerment is one of the goals I have for Grandma Camp: To help my grandsons become competent and trustworthy individuals. I do that for pre-schoolers mostly by modeling, but also by setting up systems that support empowerment. Today I will begin to plan how to do that.

Agenda

1. Read "First Things First"

2. Make a stewardship agreement

3. Review my Leadership Manifesto

1. Read "First Things First":

Last Fall I began to review this book by Stephen Covey (1994) that was pivotal in my growth, focusing on section 3: The Synergy of Interdependence.

Covey says that interdependence is not transactional, but rather transformational: He talks about the "serendipitous potential of creating synergistic third alternatives". 

Chapter 13 is Empowerment from the Inside Out. It's a reminder that whenever we blame the problem on "someone out there" we give away our chance to choose a constructive response; we put energy into the things we have no control over, and give power to circumstance.

Instead, I can create power in my self, my family, my committees, and my Meeting with principle-centered leadership. I can "act with integrity to create the environment where we and others can develop character and competence and synergy." 

Covey lists three things we can do within our circle of influence to empower ourselves and help transform our environment:

1. Cultivate the condition of empowerment by nurturing trustworthiness, trust, self-direction, accountability, etc. 
2. Ask for feedback.
3. Become a leader servant - create a shared vision, mentor others, solve problems proactively, etc.

The first step, then, is to begin to nurture empowerment - by encouraging the people in my sphere of influence to be both honest and competent (and gain the condition of trustworthiness); by initiating stewardship agreements; and by then letting the people direct themselves (without hovering).

2. Make a stewardship agreement:

This might be an agreement with my grandson, or husband, or committee. The goal is to "think win-win, seek first to understand, and then synergize". 

I'm thinking today about the simplest agreements that I can make with my older grandson. We have some systems in place, but really not enough. Today I'll walk through clean up.

1. The Desired Results is: 

• a clean floor, everything back in its place.

Clearly communicate what should be done and by when, not the "HOW". Give him the space to do things his way, to demonstrate that I trust his judgement and am willing to give him the responsibility and the accountability.

2. Guidelines are:

• Clean up needs to happen whenever transitioning from one project to another or leaving for another place. 

Specify any parameters within which the results are to be accomplished. Clarify if something is off-limits or unacceptable so that they don't have to suffer the disappointment of putting in work in the wrong way and have it not meet your expectations later.

3. Resources: 

• I will help as long as you are also working - we can work together and get it done faster!

Identify which resources are available to complete a given task. This will help him realize he is supported in this journey and that we are on the same team!

4. Accountability:

• I'll do a check to see if the room looks "pretty good", and give a high-five when you are done, before we move to the next thing.

To motivate him to put in real effort for this task, set the standard of performance that will be used to evaluate him. Also, arrange specific times at which evaluation will take place. Discuss the standards of performance in a friendly way, so he knows what is expected. Make sure to only evaluate performance at the time previously agreed upon. 

5. Consequences:

• If you clean up the toys you will get to play with them again next time; if you don't, I will hide them away for a while.

Gently communicate the rewards of performing well on this task, and the negative consequences of not following through. These should be gentle ways to guide him to be accountable for his work. More supervision or training can be a kind way to support him if he fails to meet the agreement, and I can offer help and love during the evaluation to show I'm supporting him by enabling him to meet the commitment. 

3. Review my Leadership Manifesto:

Last year I wrote this:

My Leadership Manifesto:

1. Listen and discern the unity 

2. Inspire, encourage, nudge

3. Love everyone and stay calm

4. Say Yes more often than No

5. Be so flexible that I can lead and follow simultaneously