Babinden

The Slavic holiday Babinden (bah-bean-den) happens each year on January 21. Baba is "grandmother", and the in is possessive; den is "day", so the meaning is "Grandmother’s Day". It’s also called Midwives Day.

Babinden is an ancient festival, still celebrated in Bulgaria, to give thanks and show respect to the women (or men) who have helped in the child-birthing process, and for all the other skills and knowledge the grandmothers have: Growing food, cooking, herb lore, looking after their grandchildren, and teaching folklore and traditions.

The roots of this festival, however, are in fertility rites. In Bulgaria, a house full of healthy and beautiful children is a basic value, and this is the underlying focus of the rituals on Babinden. Fertility is an essential theme of nature, and today I celebrate the place my grandson has in the great, burgeoning, hope-filled circle of abundance, and my role as one of his care-givers.

Agenda today:
1. Journal queries
2. Hand-washing ceremony

3. Prayer for grandmothers

4. Art with a toddler
5. House blessing

1. Journal queries:
Today I think about the grandchildren in my life: My delightful grandson, as well as all the other children and young adults I have helped to raise up to be thoughtful humans in my long career as an art teacher. I ask:

What does being a grandmother mean to me?

What wisdom would I like to share with my grandchildren?

I looked back at a journal entry from nearly two years ago, when my grandson was an infant:

Becoming a Grandma means I get to mother in a grand way: I can play with him, craft for him, talk, sing... and laugh, laugh, laugh. I melt at the sight of him, stare into his face, whisper to him. I miss him when I don't see him every day. I hope to be a role model for him, teach him skills, share my ethical wisdom, and my respect for the environment. But: I will follow his lead and his interests because Grandmothering is not about my ego. I get to dote.

This is a new phase of my life: I'm not teaching other people's children anymore - I'm reserving my energy for this baby boy who is my grandson. It's going to keep me young, and joy filled, and in the moment. And I don't have to make all the decisions this time, or be the disciplinarian. I look forward to the many, many grandma-treats and adventures, Grandma Camps and classes, birthday parties, and babysitting. And the BEST thing is: I get to do it all with Grandpa W!

2. Hand-washing ceremony:

Early this morning, young women in Bulgaria visit the local midwife or doctor. They bring soap, a towel, hot water in a ceramic bottle, and their young children. They perform a complicated symbolic hand-washing ritual, the purpose of which is to ensure easy births in the future and tall, strong children. The midwife gives a silver coin to each child she has delivered. 

When I taught art classes, we sometimes had a small hand-washing ceremony outside under the apple tree. My students would hand me the soap, and pour water over my hands. I would splash the water up into the air and say, "May you all be tall, beautiful, and healthy!" Then I would give them each a silver coin from my stash of foreign coins.

This year I blessed my grandson outside with the ducks, in a bucket of clean duck water. We got drenched, then came indoors to wash in the kitchen sink, change all our clothes, and take a nap together. (I didn't manage photos - we were too in the moment!)

3. Prayer for grandmothers: 
About lunchtime all the Bulgarian women go back to the midwife’s house without their children, bringing gifts and food: Socks, scarves, embroidery, bread, chicken, sweets, wine and brandy.

The lunchtime gathering turns into an all-day "women’s only" party (except the doctor might be a man, and sometimes male musicians attend- but they must dress as women) and it gets pretty wild! The women drink, dance, sing dirty songs, tell jokes, and gossip, and it goes on into the night.

I thought, when I am a grandmother, I'm going to throw a grandmother party! But of course I can't do that because of covid... 

So today I'll say a prayer for my grandmothers of the past, and my women friends of grandmother age who have helped me to survive this last two years with their humor, love, and good advise.

4. Art with a toddler:

One of my grandmother super powers is art. My little guy has been drawing since he could hold a pencil, and we just keep adding skills. He started sewing last week, at 19 months, using a square of stiff rug canvas (for latch hooking) and a tapestry needle.

Tips for art with toddlers:

1. Toddlers have a very short attention span. Be prepared for art in 5 minute increments, working on the same project over several days. The sewing project shown above is sitting on a low table, and he sews 2 or 3 stitches a day. (We've added a green yarn since this photo was taken.)

2. Have all your supplies handy and easy to grab when the mood hits. I put washable tempera paints into squeeze bottles, hang a smock in the kitchen, and store other supplies nearby. I also have a drawer of markers, crayons, paint pens, chalk, and paper near a low table - he can't open it himself, but can tell me when he wants to draw.

3. My painting set up is shown here: I whip out a plastic table cloth for the floor, set out the paper (or tree cookies, or pinecones, etc.), and put a bottle or two of paint on the table out of reach. (The yellow stool is for me - I don't do floor sitting anymore.)

 

After I'm all set up I put on his smock and hand him one squeeze bottle. He is a practiced painter already, and knows exactly what to do with it.

Be ready for paint everywhere, especially hands and face.

 

5. After about 5 minutes, when interest starts to wain, and paint (or chalk, marker, etc.) is going into the mouth, it's time to cheerfully ask "All done?" and start to clean up. First I take away the paint and brush and, before he can escape into the living room with painty hands, we play in water and wash hands and face. (Clean up is part of the fun!)

6. One final tip: Build layers - bring out the same paper or other project for several sessions and add more paint, or when its dry, add crayons, pens, or paint pens (tempera paint sticks are a wonderful invention!)

5. House blessing:
In Bulgaria and elsewhere, water is a symbol of purity and has healing powers. Many Bulgarians will have a house-blessing after Epiphany (January 6) with a sprinkling of holy water. Several other water related rituals are also performed this month.

My own understanding of a house blessing is that the act of cleaning itself is a blessing on the house, and that sitting in a newly cleaned room is a good way to remember that we are each blessed, always and forever. 

I am well into my January month of deep cleaning, taking care of mold-related issues. This week I've thoroughly cleaned our bathroom, and today I will use salt water and sage smoke to seal the deal.