Babinden

The Slavic holiday Babinden (bah-bean-den) happens each year on January 21. Baba means "grandmother", and the in is possessive; den is "day", so the meaning is "Grandmother’s Day". It’s also called Midwives Day.

Babinden is an ancient festival, still celebrated in Bulgaria, to give thanks and show respect to the women (or men) who have helped in the child-birthing process, and for all the other skills and knowledge the grandmothers have: Growing food, cooking, herb lore, looking after their grandchildren, and teaching folklore and traditions.

The roots of this festival, however, are in fertility rites. In Bulgaria, a house full of healthy and beautiful children is a basic value, and this is the underlying focus of the rituals on Babinden. Fertility is an essential theme of nature, and today I celebrate the place my grandsons have in the great, burgeoning, hope-filled circle of abundance, and my role as one of their care-givers.

Agenda today:
1. Journal queries

2. Read "The Earth Keeper's Handbook"

3. Hand-washing ceremony

4. Prayer for grandmothers

1. Journal queries:
Today I think about the grandchildren in my life: My two delightful grandsons, and all the other children and young adults I have helped to raise up to be thoughtful humans in my long career as an art teacher and mother. I ask:

What does being a grandmother mean to me?

What wisdom would I like to share with my grandchildren?

I looked back at a journal entry from five years ago, when my first grandson was an infant:

Becoming a Grandma means I get to mother in a grand way: I can play with him, craft for him, talk, sing... and laugh, laugh, laugh. I melt at the sight of him, stare into his face, whisper to him. I miss him when I don't see him every day. I hope to be a role model for him, teach him skills, share my ethical wisdom, and my respect for the environment. But: I will follow his lead and his interests because Grandmothering is not about my ego. I get to dote.

This is a new phase of my life: I'm not teaching other people's children anymore - I'm reserving my energy for this baby boy who is my grandson. It's going to keep me young, and joy filled, and in the moment. And I don't have to make all the decisions this time, or be the disciplinarian. I look forward to the many, many grandma-treats and adventures, Grandma Camps and classes, birthday parties, and babysitting. And the BEST thing is: I get to do it all with Grandpa W!

2. Read "The Earth Keeper's Handbook":

I'm reading this book by Loren Swift (2019), subtitled "Assuming Leadership in a New World." The premise is that lack of care for each other (people) results in lack of care for the earth. "This book details the practical steps to shift the paradigm internally from conflict to cooperation and to make the same shift in relationships and in group endeavors." Well, that is the work I need to do this winter.

I've been stuck in Chapter 3 or awhile -  The Science of Oneness, which moves slowly towards a practice she calls Embodying Universal Qualities of Life in the Spectrum of Love (really flows off the tongue). 

The first point is intentionality - When we have a clear understanding of personal values and the qualities of life that motivate us, then we can generate them intentionally.

The second point is universal qualities (Needs), which are the commonalities of shared humanity. When I understand the Need under the desire I can get creative with the strategy. So when I brainstorm my goals I should also dig to find the universal Need it is serving.

The third point is the strategy - how we choose to fulfill the experience and express the quality of life we are after, for which there are myriads of possibilities.

She suggests that the first step is always to name the qualities of life I'm after, how I would most like my state of being to be ... calm, wise, energetically engaged, creative, meaningful, respected and respectful, inspired and inspiring, loved and loving, simple, and full of integrity. With this list in hand, my motivation is clear, and I am empowered to find the strategy.

3. Embodying Universal Needs In Love:

Purpose: To live the Qualities of Life I most cherish; to be coherent no matter the chaos of the moment; to be a constructive force; to remember to reconnect with my natural state; to be vibrantly alive and feel the expansive beauty of the creativity flowing through me.

Practice: 

1. Start with a Kindness Meditation to relax and become present.
2. Consider my day ahead - What stands out the most? What feelings and body sensations do I have when I imagine that part of my day? 
3. Consider what experience I am most longing for, and name the qualities of life I'm after, how I would most like my state of being to be ... calm, wise, energetically engaged, creative, meaningful, respected and respectful, inspired and inspiring, loved and loving, simple, and full of integrity...
4. Focus on one quality and let myself be filled with the living energy of that quality. Breathe in its energy, and let it fill and expand into my whole being.
5. Journal abut this experience and how it affected my body, heart, and mind.

4. Hand-washing ceremony:

In Bulgaria and elsewhere, water is a symbol of purity and has healing powers. Early this morning, young women in Bulgaria visit the local midwife or doctor. They bring soap, a towel, hot water in a ceramic bottle, and their young children. They perform a complicated symbolic hand-washing ritual, the purpose of which is to ensure easy births in the future and tall, strong children. The midwife gives a silver coin to each child she has delivered. 

When I taught art classes, we sometimes had a small hand-washing ceremony outside under the apple tree. My students would hand me the soap, and pour water over my hands. I would splash the water up into the air and say, "May you all be tall, beautiful, and healthy!" Then I would give them each a silver coin from my stash of foreign coins.

One year I blessed my grandson outside with the ducks, in a bucket of clean duck water. We got drenched, then came indoors to wash in the kitchen sink, change all our clothes, and take a nap together. (I didn't manage photos - we were too in the moment!)

5. Prayer for grandmothers: 
About lunchtime all the Bulgarian women go back to the midwife’s house without their children, bringing gifts and food: Socks, scarves, embroidery, bread, chicken, sweets, wine and brandy.

The lunchtime gathering turns into an all-day "women’s only" party (except the doctor might be a man, and sometimes male musicians attend- but they must dress as women) and it gets pretty wild! The women drink, dance, sing dirty songs, tell jokes, and gossip, and it goes on into the night.

For years I thought, when I am a grandmother, I'm going to throw a grandmother party! But I haven't managed to do that yet. Maybe sometime soon.

So today I'll say a prayer for my grandmothers of the past, and my women friends of grandmother age who have helped me to survive and grow, with their humor, love, and good advice. And visit one grandmother I haven't seen for a while!

6. Proaction and reciprocity plans:

On Wednesdays I often journal a bit about the future, and my dreams and goals: What GREAT things do I want to accomplish? How will I serve people? How will I use my talents? How will I stretch myself? How can I become an “island of excellence”? What is essential?

Then I try to define achievable, meaningful goals and prioritize the goals and tasks with the greatest long-term impact.

This next week I hope to:

• Write about Awareness: Winter spiritual simplicity and order; How to monitor your air quality and winter temperature awareness; and Imbalc.
• Take the online foster dog training and perhaps visit Greenhill to talk to someone.
• Read up and report on the legislative short session, and send out the EC action news letter.
• Write about Sanctuary: Vermi-composting; Crop rotation; soil health; Prepare for late winter seed starting.
• Mentor and advise a young lady seeking way forward for a leading.
• Have a Beginner's Mind meditation on a winter nature awareness retreat program, and how to lead some kind of climate change ceremony.
• Take part in the second  "Return to the Earth" event, to "come to understand the cultural lens through which I see the world."