Epiphany

January 6th is Epiphany, the final day of the Christmas season. This was the day when the three Magi arrived in Bethlehem to see the baby Jesus, and recognized that he would grow up to be a great helper of people.

Epiphany comes from the Greek epiphania, meaning manifestation, or moment of recognition. The Magi had an epiphany - a moment of recognition, when the truth became clear through something simple and striking.

Agenda for today:

1. Epiphany meditation

2. Love meditation

3. Read "Present Moment Awareness"

4. Bake a King's cake and make a crown

1. Epiphany meditation: 

An epiphany is an insight that might take years to ripen, like when I suddenly understand something that has been hovering just out of my grasp; it's a brilliant feeling of clarity, a gift from Spirit, a moment of transformation. 

At the same time, it’s no big deal - Light and grace are always in the world; what is sporadic is my ability to pay attention and be present.

On New Year's Day I put the Greek Delphic injunction on my altar - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself. Today I will light a blue candle, for stillness, and a gray candle for the foggy path, and center on my breathing. When I am grounded, I will close my eyes and picture the path ahead of me - the whole glorious year that will unfold; the circle of the seasons; the challenges of growth; the people who will walk with me. 

After 10 minutes or so, I will stop and write down my thoughts, joys, concerns, and hopes.

Where is my intuition taking me?  

What might be the message or vision that is ripening in me this season?

What question do I want to shine greater light on?

My journal:  What I am trying to do is facilitate a cultural paradigm shift. How does one go about that?

2. Love Meditation:

Every month after the full moon, in the quiet-energy yin time of the waning moon, I practice a love meditation that progresses from receptivity, to gratitude, to generosity:

Day 1: Practice a love meditation, and open to receive blessings - send a prayer to the universe asking to be showered with love, kindness, health, and happiness.

1. 1 minute - Relax your body, and focus on the tender emotion of generous love. Allow a smile to settle on your face and in your heart.
2. 1 minute - Visualize love as soft, tingly, warm, pink light, and see it move from your heart to every part of your body so that every cell is glowing and vibrating.
3. 1 minute - Now see the pink light of love radiating to fill the whole room, then the whole city, and the whole planet earth. See that all people, plants, and animals feel warm and happy.
4. 1 minute - Send an extra dose of love light to those people you want to have a better connection to.

3. Read "Present Moment Awareness":

I'm reading this book by Shannon Duncan (2001) that takes awareness one step at a time: First, body and senses; then beliefs and limitations; then emotions; and finally, reactivity. It seems like a straightforward plan!

I'm into the final section: Reactivity Roller Coaster. She talks about our false selves, how we pretend to be what we perceive we need to be in order to get our needs met (like being perfectly responsible in order to get the respect that my father didn't give me.) We use these false selves as shields of protection, and if a false-self-shield fails to protect us then we will either react or go into a depression.

It goes like this: I am triggered by something like a small disrespect, and I shut down to reduce the intensity of the emotions I feel; OR I fight against the situation much more than it merits; OR I "act out" in a really embarrassing way to purge my anxiety. In any case, I am completely self-absorbed while I am reacting and unable to see how I am affecting others - this is because of the "child-like mind-set stored in repressed or denied memories". I act like a child, yelling and throwing things, or saying petty mean things; I am self-righteous, contemptuous, judgmental, arrogant, and mean. This helps to release some of the pressure from the deep rage, but it also makes me feel much worse - embarrassed and sorry.

The solution is to live in the present moment and be aware of other ways to respond to situations when I feel triggered. The solution is to choose a different response.

I can't help it if someone hits a nerve and causes me anxiety, but when I learn to notice the situations and core negative beliefs that trigger me, I have an opportunity to grow out of them. The only way out of this ongoing emotional pain is through it -  I must face it, write about it, and stay in the moment with it when it happens (instead of batting it away with a reaction). 

Little by little I will be able to identify the negative core belief that has caused me so much grief. It will be experienced as a "feeling" until is named: It's name is something like worthless, weak, silly, stupid, (as in "women are...") "Negative core beliefs cannot be explained away, and until they are experienced and viewed with objectivity they can continue to affect us as they always have." 

Once it is named, I will remember that I've had that belief, and those feelings and thoughts, my whole life, and then it might begin to break down: the child-like notions they are built on cannot be supported by an adult mind. It's like peeling an onion one layer at a time, awakening to my true self and real life a little more.

During an actual situation when I feel those familiar feelings, it is best to simply allow those feelings to exist, and look through them, like raindrops on a windshield. Then when I am alone I can meditate on the situation, and try to pinpoint the underlying negative core beliefs. I can begin to understand and challenge them, and work on untangling them. 

"Working with reactive emotions requires persistence, because they can seem very tenacious. It can be very hard to let go of anger, fear, guilt, self-pity, and others because not only are they automatic, they are even comforting in their familiarity."

4. Bake a King's Cake and make a crown:

In Mexico, Día de Reyes (Day of Kings) is the main celebration of Christmas, though Christmas Day is growing in popularity. Children get presents today from the three kings, and the family shares a special bread, called Rosca de Reyes (King's Cake), which looks like a large, delicious crown.

A tiny clay doll (or an almond or coin) is placed inside the cake to symbolize the coming of the baby Jesus. Each guest cuts a piece, and the person whose serving contains the doll is considered king or queen of the fiesta, and is obligated to host another party on or before February 2 (Candlemas).

Here is the recipe.