The Power of Focus

Focus is my friend as I navigate this new path we are on. Focus has many benefits - it narrows my attention so I can be more effective, keeps me in the moment so I can have less anxiety, and helps me to stay positive.

Agenda:

1. Read "The Power of Less"
2. Caregiver self care
3. Simplifying

1. Read "The Power of Less":

I recently bought this little book by Leo Babauta, who hosts the Zen Habits blog. I bought it because simplifying is a favorite topic of mine, one I long for and keep trying to perfect.

I'm reading Chapter Four: Simple Focus, which has many applications, including single-tasking, present-focus, and focusing on the positive.

Present focus is a way to stay calm and sane. "The only way to learn to focus on the present is to practice."

Ways to practice:

1. Don't do multiple things at once - just eat, just take a bath ... just do what you're doing now, and nothing else.
2. Be aware of your thoughts. Notice when you think about the past or future. Awareness will bring change.
3. Exercise as meditation is a good practice for focus on the present.
4. Daily routines such as sweeping and teeth brushing can also be present focus meditation.

2. Caregiver self care:

As I begin to give greater attention to caring for my Beloved, I'm also putting in place a framework of self care.

1. Choose friends to vent to: I know I will need to let it all out, and venting to a trusted friend is going to be my go-to release. Bottling up my emotions can lead to more stress. Letting go, even just a little, can make me feel lighter and more in control.

2. Set up a place to journal on-line for family: Writing helps me process, so I might want to create a personal CaringBridge to share my thoughts and experiences with my support system - a safe space to be honest about what I'm going through.

3. Delegate tasks to friends and family: Use an app to let others know exactly what we need, whether it’s meal delivery, grocery shopping, or financial support. Clear, specific requests can make it easier for others to lend a hand, even from a distance or as an anonymous donor. People often want to help but don’t know how. Using shareable lists can help people see what’s already taken care of and what still needs to be done, removing some of the communications and logistics from your plate.

4. Lean into sarcasm and humor: Humor and sarcasm can be powerful tools for stress relief, when appropriate. It’s okay to find moments of laughter even in tough situations; it’s a natural coping mechanism. A good laugh can be incredibly refreshing and provide a much-needed mental break. Acknowledging and expressing dark humor can also be a liberating way to process all the other emotions that come along with caregiving.

5. Break the tension with movement: The time and energy for a full-blown exercise routine may be difficult, so focus on small bursts of movement to break up the tension in my body. A quick dance session, a few yoga poses, or simply unclenching your jaw can help. Moving my body, even for a few seconds, can release built-up stress. 

6. Celebrate small wins: In the caregiving journey, it’s important to celebrate the small wins. Whether it’s a day where everything went smoothly or a moment of laughter, acknowledge and appreciate these positives.

3. Simplifying:

I've been focusing this month on paring down for fall and building my strength of letting go: Less on my schedule, less clutter, less spending, less clinging to control - and more of choosing the essentials in my life.

Now, as we face a major illness in the family, it is suddenly much easier and also much harder: It's easier to get out of commitments that are clearly not essential right now, but it's harder to face the minutia of dealing with finances, clutter, and daily communications.

This week I plan to focus on helping my partner simplify his stuff. I intend to sort one box of photos, or bag of papers for him each day, because this is an act of love and caring that I can do now, while we wait, that will ease his burden.