Self-caring

Self-care is a boring topic. I find it easy to ignore. 

Which is why self-care needs to be a discipline: It takes discipline to do the things that are good for me instead of what feels good in the moment, or just what "needs to get done". Self-care needs doing every day, every week, month in and month out - it’s taking care of myself as a daily practice, so I don't get stressed out, over-committed, over-weight, and over-tired.

Self-care requires tough-mindedness, a deep understanding of my priorities, and respect for myself and the other people in my life. It involves setting boundaries, communicating my needs, and showing up authentically. It involves doing battle with my inner demons — my traumas and addictions.

Of course, with disciplined self care I am able to be a better caregiver and activist for everyone else; I have the energy, health, and focus I need to create transformation in my world.

Agenda:

1. Self-Care Journal

2. My renewal practices

3. Read "Anticancer Living"

4. Stress reduction practice

5. Stop blurting

1. Self-Care Journal:

Really, all my journalling and blogging is for self-care: I keep track of my feelings, thoughts, and behaviors about myself, and plan activities and practices that support renewal in all my quadrants. Basically, I am becoming more self-aware.

For this fall and winter, I want to hone in on a process to quickly identify what is causing me the most stress or anxiety, evaluate my daily renewal plans, and develop strategies for coping with my challenges in a healthy and sustainable way.

My daily writing prompts:

• What are my priority self-care practices today?
• What's one "inner demon" I can de-activate today?

2. My renewal practice menu:

Physical self-care: 

• Prepare healthy meals and snacks
• Drink water
• Stretches
• Take a daily walk
• Take care of personal hygiene
• Work in the garden - get physical!
• Reward: Bubble bath

Emotional self-care: 

• Take time to PLAY
• Practice self-compassion
• Express emotions in a healthy way (through journaling or talking to a trusted friend)
• Setting healthy boundaries - saying “no” when necessary
• Cultivating positive relationships and social support
• Reward: Engaging in activities that bring joy and meaning

Mental self-care: 

• Practice meditation to release stress and calm my mind
• Engage in activities that challenge and stimulate my mind 
• Set realistic goals: Simplify to 3 projects
• Learn new skills or hobbies
• Reward: Spend time in nature

3. Read "Anticancer Living":

I've been skimming here and there in this daunting book. My understanding now is that we all probably have some cancer in us somewhere, just hiding out. My intent is to learn the best ways to prevent it from progressing. 

Today I looked at Chapter 8: Stress and Resilience.

Stress is linked with cancer risk and progression, and chronic stress leads to worst outcomes, because it deregulates the immune system, provides proteins for to help tumors grow, and even modifies our cells to make them better homes for cancer.

The good news is that stress is one thing we can control.

Unfortunately, even the least stressful life is affected negatively by a cancer diagnosis. We have both been shocked, traumatized, and thrust into an awareness of our mortality. We have no way of knowing how long we will be in this high-anxiety state. If it goes on long enough, we could face PTSD.

"Successfully addressing the trauma of cancer is a crucial first step in a patient's journey: only when the over-whelming psyco-emotional stress of the disease is acknowledged and treated can the patient begin to work on building the emotional recilience that is needed to build an anti-cancer life."

4. Stress reduction practice:

This book has way too much information! Near the end of this chapter the author cuts to the chase with Three Steps to Optimal Anticancer De-stress:

1. A daily meditation practice that includes diaphragmatic breathing, building to 20-minutes a day.
2. Integrated meditative moments throughout the day.
3. Reflective writing

5. Stop blurting out:
A great deal of my emotional pain this week has been because of my lack of verbal self control: I just have to blurt out the wrong thing. Why? Often I feel a need to correct the wrong-thinking of others or to stand up for myself over trivial matters.

Blurting out refers to my tendency to speak without thinking, often interrupting others or making comments that disrupt conversations, making others feel unheard or disrespected or unnecessarily challenged, and straining our relationships.

Tips for correcting this behavior:

1. Self-Awareness: Use self-monitoring skills to recognize personal triggers and moments of impulsivity. Practical strategies for increasing self-awareness include journaling, mindfulness exercises, and reflection - I can pause and reflect before speaking to become more conscious of my impulses and make intentional choices in my speaking.

2. Emotional Regulation: Use emotional regulation techniques to manage my blurting out, such as deep breathing exercises, positive self-talk, and healthy coping mechanisms. I can also build my emotional resilience and learn how to better navigate my challenging emotions. 

3: Active Listening: Practice fully engaging with the speaker, understanding their message, and responding appropriately (rather than getting set to argue). Try to maintain eye contact, nod to show understanding, and paraphrasing to ensure comprehension. Remember to patiently take turns in conversations.

4: Empathy and Perspective-Taking: Developing empathy towards others’ feelings and experiences is essential in reducing blurting out. Remember and reflect often on the impact my words have on others! 

 

5: Assertiveness and Communication Strategies: Learn some skills for expressing my thoughts and opinions without interrupting or being disrespectful. Use strategies such as “think before you speak,” to learn to pause, consider my words, and respond thoughtfully. Practicing using “I” statements to express feelings and needs.