Waning Moon Creativity

As I come to the end of the Sleepy Moon cycle, and wrap things up a bit, I'm sitting with creativity in a contemplative way, and I realize two things:

I've been reverting to an earlier phase of my life, before painting and art school, when I was internally driven to Make Things, and they were varied and creative. 

But I'm also a different person now - as Grandma Earth Teacher I am led to make things that are a gift to the Earth in some way, sustainable and with a message. 

  

Agenda: 

1. Read "The Book of Doing and Being"

2. Projects for the week

1. Read "The Book of Doing and Being":

I'm reading from this book by Barnet Bain (2015), subtitled "Rediscovering Creativity in Life, Love, and Work". This is a book of creative perspective, to help jiggle me out of the straight line way I usually think into something new: Use the exercises with consistency in order to stay focused on my destination. Practice will ground me and allow my ambitions to take root and grow.

Chapter 7 is The Four Anesthetics, about roadblocks to creative flow. "...we become inwardly immobilized when we are distressed or overwhelmed." She describes the substitute feelings we shift to in order to numb more powerful emotions: Self-pity, blame, guilt, and control.

Recognizing the Anesthetics: 

1. What I most desire: Become aware of something I want to create or maintain, like a meaningful art practice.
2. Imagine the threat: What is it that I fear most about this desire? Inadequacy and meaninglessness - that I will continue to start and not finish things that are not clearly envisioned, and have no real message or use in this world. That I will waste my time and feel dissatisfied.
3. Thoughts and feelings: Really examine my feared outcome and the powerful emotions that surround it - no need to name them but really sense them and how they feel in my body: I feel suffocated by my own expectations.
4. Examine the possible anesthetics: Am I blocked by feeling sorry for myself? Am I blaming circumstances or the people in my life? Do I have feelings of guilt about something in my past? Am I looking for control over something?

Well, it could be that I am blocked by wanting to control the outcome of my creations. The writer claims that when I identify the real fear it will dissipate - that hasn't been my experience, but I will read on! 

2. Projects for the week:

A couple weeks ago I did a brainstorm for goals for Grandma Earth Teacher and Dragonfly Studio for April: First steps for healing my space and my Light, 

possible projects, and a possible spring class or workshop or retreat - a way to inspire and transform. Those ideas have not seen any action yet! Today I will break them into more manageable chunks:

Thursday

1. Clearing: I need to clear out the studio so I can access my supplies and so I know what and where my tools are. Today I will clear the table. 
2. Sign-making: Today I will find a board and draw a "Caterpillar Sanctuary" sign for my front yard. (Really feel how this satisfies me!)

Friday

1. Clearing: Go through and simplify the supplies and tools in the cabinet. 
2. Sign-making: Prepare the board - sand and attach a stake. (Really feel how this satisfies me!)
3. Choices: Make room for Choice Bins for the boys: Stock one for wood-working, kid tools, paints. Set up the Godzilla clay project outside OR offer a sign board for sanding - follow his lead! 

Saturday

1. Clearing: Work next on the big shelf space - clear space for more paintings.
2. Butterflies: Print some new photos and work on bathroom butterflies with the goal of toning them down a bit.
3. Sew Blue Mason Bee flag: Take pleasure in sewing! Add his name with stamps.

Next week

1. Earth Coat: Make sleeves so I can show progress to D.
2. Choices: Plan lures for visiting every day (big motor, process oriented). Stamping, painting, hammering... Just lure them out there, then start to paint or stamp myself - no expectations.
3. Sign-making: Practice this until I find a way to expand this project to a class.
4. Sew flags: Take pleasure in sewing! Pack more ideas to take north

Doing the smallest thing is a great way to make courageous creative work less frightening; also finding the "minimum effective dose", the amount of work that keeps me challenged and joyful, and if I keep at it will get me to the finish line on time.