Generous Love

Earlier this month I wrote about opening the door to love. I want to practice the habits that allow love to shine in my life: Compassion, respect, patience and equanimity, gratitude, forgiveness, generosity, kindness and care. At the start of the year, I set some goals for growth in this area of my life, and it's time to review them.

Also, I want to start a better set of practices that brings me to love and receptivity every month after the full moon, in the quiet-energy yin time of the waning moon.

Agenda:

1. Love Journal
2. Review and add to love goals
3. Love meditation

4. Monthly receptivity practices

1. Love Journal:

Growing in any of the habits of love requires some introspection, so for the next couple of weeks I will keep a separate Love Journal to help me to see habits and patterns in my relationships, and realize where I need to grow.

Every morning I will mentally review conversations and interactions I had yesterday, and how I am caring for the world. 

Next, I'll think about the people I will see today, and the conversations I may have, and make note of times when I might need to draw on any of the love habits.

And then answer the query: What is my growing edge - where do I most need to focus my attention, when it comes to love?

Set an intention to be kind today: Say something like, "I intend to be kind and counteract the fear and contempt I see, because love will heal the world." 

I've found that keeping a Love Journal is the thing that most helps me to grow in love and effectiveness. (For example, as I went through this day's exercise, I recalled my "no smothering" mantra, and the foundation of trust I have created this summer with my grandson. I set this new mantra: "Gently and slowly, Grandma.")

2. Review and add to love goals:

Today I reviewed my goals for love, social skills, friends and family, and service from the start of the year, recommitted to these, and added some new thoughts: 

• Witness from love - add love and unity queries to Earthcare blog every month; 
• Practice habits for equanimity, patience, conversing and listening - develop a monthly Waning Moon receptivity-gratitude-generosity practice; 
• Nurture my grandsons' self-discovery, and my relationship with them - "Slowly, Grandma"; 
• Nurture my deepest friendships with monthly moon gatherings, and weekly walks; 
• Plan and organize shared celebrations with my family and friends;
• Learn how to better voice my values, and build integrity in my public relationships, to show respect to all people (less gossip, less judgement) - study anti-semitism;
• Be generous with my time; say yes to community service;
• Show up in-person more often, to Meeting and other events, to witness and form new connections.

3. Love meditation:

The Buddhist term bodhicitta means "completely open heart and mind". Developing bodhicitta is a journey: You move toward a flexible way of thinking and feeling, releasing fear and a need for security, and embracing the possibility of love.

During the waning moon, I practice this Love Meditation to help open a door to bodhichitta. Set the mood: Light a candle and dim the lights.

1. 1 minute - Relax your body, and focus on the tender emotion of generous love. Allow a smile to settle on your face and in your heart.
2. 1 minute - Visualize love as soft, tingly, warm, pink light, and see it move from your heart to every part of your body so that every cell is glowing and vibrating.
3. 1 minute - Now see the pink light of love radiating to fill the whole room, then the whole city, and the whole planet earth.
4. 1 minute - See that all people, plants, and animals feel warm and happy.
5. 1 minute - Send an extra dose of love light to those people you want to have a better connection to.

4. Monthly receptivity practice:

Now the moon is waning - getting smaller - until it is new again. During this time of the waning moon, the moon's energy changes, and we move gradually into the yin phase - slow down, go within, and focus on inner work. I back off a bit on actively pursuing my goals, and allow the ease of being a loving, thoughtful person to carry me towards my dreams.

The waning gibbous moon is a time to practice the work of intentional Being, rather than Doing. When I slow down I can see what my hard work has produced in the world and in myself, and I have the leisure to notice, absorb, and expand. 

My plan is to take this one-day-at-a-time each month:

Day 1: Practice a love meditation, and open to receive blessings - send a prayer to the universe asking to be showered with love, kindness, health, and happiness.

Day 2: Practice a love meditation, and end by feeling and expressing gratitude - send a prayer to the universe of thanksgiving for all I have in my life. When I remember to feel grateful for my blessings, my days take on a different tone: I have more vigor, optimism, compassion, and peace. By noticing how I am blessed, my impatience decreases and I realize how satisfied and fulfilled I really am.

Day 3: Practice a love meditation, and then journal about generosity with time and attention - start with ideas for being generous with myself, then my family, my neighborhood, community, and the earth. I might decide to give money or a gift, or simple cts of helping and sharing my time.

This month's plan:

1. A day for self-care, a haircut, and no social commitments.
2. A trip to visit Mom.
3. Final clerking care and responsibilities.
4. Share tree-cones with messages of fortune for forests.

When I'm motivated by the desire to give, just the intention to offer my help, and my willingness to listen, will begin to lessen suffering in the world.