Self-Caregiving Boot Camp

Self-care needs to be a discipline: It takes discipline to do the things that are good for me instead of what feels good in the moment, or just what "needs to get done". Self-care needs doing every day, every week, month in and month out - it’s taking care of myself as a daily practice, so I don't get stressed out, over-committed, over-weight, and over-tired.

Self-care requires tough-mindedness, a deep understanding of my priorities, and respect for myself and the other people in my life. It involves setting boundaries, communicating my needs, and showing up authentically. It involves doing battle with my inner demons — my traumas and addictions.

Of course, with disciplined self care I am able to be a better caregiver and activist for everyone else; I have the energy, health, and focus I need to create transformation in my world.

Tuesday is my day to look at my social and emotional self and make an effort to shift my perspectives around how I view and treat the people in my life.

Agenda:

1. Read "The Achievement Habit"

2. De-stress journal

3. Stress-tamer menu

4. Expressing Needs in the World

5. Daily Boot Camp list so far

1. Read "The Achievement Habit":

I'm reading from this book by Bernard Roth (2015), subtitled "Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life". This is a book about "design thinking", applied to achieving goals in your life.

Chapter 1 is Nothing is what you think it is. The point is to stop holding on to feelings of betrayal, or anguish, or abandonment, or indignation - because the event has no real meaning except what I assign it. I am the master of my life, not a victim. I can, if I choose, turn personal adversity into a positive experience for myself and for others.

This takes creativity! We can transform the world, our behaviors, our relationships, our job -  into a new thing by having a new perspective.

I can think of two ways this affects me right now. The first is to convert the fear and shock that surrounds a cancer diagnosis into something that heals and unifies us as a family; the second is the work I'm doing to shift the paradigm towards awareness, sanctuary, sustainability, and reciprocity for the earth.

(Ask people to be earth healers rather than asking them to heal the earth because people respond better to reinforcing their self-image than with actions.)

2. De-stress Journal:

This week at the full moon I discerned a new intention: 

I intend to list clear actionable steps towards paring down, resilience habits, delegation, care-taking, and community-building because the next 2-weeks are our boot camp for the long haul of recovery.

The truth is that I need to control the bits I can control: MY habits, my preparations and negotiations, my integrity and compassion. So, for the next two weeks I'm putting myself through Resilience Boot Camp! And today is Day Three.

For this spring and summer, I want to hone in on a process to quickly identify what is causing me the most stress or anxiety, evaluate my plans, and develop strategies for coping with my challenges in a healthy and sustainable way.

My daily writing prompts:

• What is my potentially biggest stressor today (communication, time expectations, kids, angst)?
• What practices can help to tame stress today?
• What's one "inner demon" I can de-activate today?
• What is something I can delegate?

3. Stress-tamer menu:

1. 5-4-3-2-1 practice (or simpler 3-2-1)
2. Drink water
3. Stretches
4. Take a walk
5. Work in the garden - get physical!
6. Take time to PLAY
7. Setting healthy boundaries - saying “no” when necessary
8. Set realistic goals: Simplify to 3 projects
9. Call a friend to meet, to vent

4. Expressing Needs in the World:

1. Sit for a couple minutes and then invite in three questions, and write the answers in my journal:

• "If I knew this was the last week of my life, what is one Need or quality of life I'd like to be or express more fully?" 
• "What's one quality of life I'd like to contribute more to one of my relationships?"
• "Whats one quality of life I'd like to contribute more to my community?" 

2. Consider each of these Needs, one at a time. and feel the surge of this energy in my body. 

3. Invite myself to take one action each day this week to express the energy of one of these Needs, or bring it alive in my relationships. Be sure it's done in the spirit of invitation, not demand, and that it is specific and doable.

4. After doing the action, be sure to take a minute to visualize the happiness or fulfillment I experience, and extend it out to all beings.   

Journal: The Needs that come to me today are Connection, Tenderness, and Encouragement. After sitting with the energy of these, I've listed some ideas for action:

• Reach out to family and friends to talk, especially those I haven't talked to for a while (Becky, Hegnas, Cathy M, Ritta...)
• Moments of tender touching and cuddles
• Send encouragement to my EC group.

5. Daily boot camp resilience list:

I've been adding a practice each day -

1. Stand-Strong work out.
2. Clear off one shelf space, basket, or toy box each day.
3. De-stress journal.