Spooky Tuesday

Tuesday is my receptivity day of the week, when I look at my social and emotional self and make an effort to shift my perspectives around how I view and treat the people in my life.

We are at the peak of the strong-energy yang phase of the waxing moon, the time to harvest what was planted and nurtured. The squirrel moon is a good time to gather my forces inward, for a final burst of energy before winter.

Agenda: 

1. Acknowledge the harvest

2. Read "How to Deal with Anger"

3. My anger journal

4. Problem solving

5. Teamwork plans and visuals

1. Acknowledge the harvest:

After the full moon I like to notice the harvest of what I have nurtured this month. I have many things in the works still, but some have been fulfilled: 

The first thing that comes to mind is that I really have settled in to a flow of intentional time - acting smoothly on my priorities with restful breaks for just being.

The second thing is that I've finally begun to get serious about weight loss and I've already dropped 2 pounds. That is a tiny step I can celebrate!

2. Read "How to Deal with Anger":

I'm reading this book by Isabel Clarke (2016) that I got at Powell's, because after my last explosion I decided I won't reach equanimity without managing my anger. Chapter 6 is Using Choice Wisely, about what happens after I have bought myself time to choose how to react.

In that moment, I ask my anger questions: What is Wrong??? Is there anything I can do about this situation? Is it really important or should I let it go? If it IS important, what can I do?

If I find that I have anger for a really good reason, then I can continue with problem solving, "All the valuable energy that your anger has mobilized by getting your body ready for action can then be put into the important work of reaching a solution."

Problem solving: 

1. Describe the problem and how I want things to be different - clearly and in detail. 
2. Switch into a reasonable and creative frame of mind and brainstorm all the possible solutions, and their pros and cons. Be thorough - no short cuts.
3. Make a plan using the best options, and specifying each step and making a timeline.

3. My anger journal:

I have realized that Problem Solving can be applied to every part of my life. Today I'm thinking about the problem of chaos - the whirlwind of care for two little boys that freaks me out when I've reached my max.

The key here is I'VE reached my max. When I am tired, hungry, or just full up with people-time, I can no longer manage my anxiety. It's not so much that I get angry, but my anxiety reaches a peak and I respond abruptly and harshly. 

4. Problem Solving:

AI came up with some ideas, which I've re-framed:

"To stop being rattled by chaos, I must shift my focus from controlling my environment to mastering my internal response. Chaos is an inevitable part of life, but getting overwhelmed by it is a habit that can be unlearned. Here is how to build psychological stability when everything around me is swirling:

1. Shift my mindset; reframe chaos as a challenge: Start each day with a reminder that chaos is a normal baseline, so that I begin to expect surprises and they lose their power to shock me. Begin to look forward to chaotic moments as a high-stakes training ground for my focus and resilience, rather than a personal attack.
2. Take immediate physiological control: Force two deep, slow breaths into my belly to signal to my nervous system that I am safe. Create a physical pause. Step back, close my eyes for five seconds, or grab a glass of water. This creates a tiny buffer between the trigger and my reaction. Before I can begin to take control of the situation, remove myself from noisy or frantic spaces by walking to the bathroom.
3. Establish tactical order: Separate what I can change from what I cannot. Draw a hard line between my own actions and external madness. Ruthlessly prioritize: Pick the one single thing that matters most right now and ignore the rest. Slow my pace: Intentionally move, speak, and think 20% slower.

5. Teamwork plans and visuals:

Once a week I'd like to consider how to create synergy and embrace teamwork with my teams, and develop trust relationships. Today I will design a plan for how to communicate my vision and expectations for kid projects, how to seek unity, and what I want to delegate.

• Halloween decorations: Make a visual project list - spider web, paper bats, jack o'lanterns, cookies, lights?
• Drawing with Aldo: locate a new sketch book, and start to test pens and draw faces