Bump Day

Wednesday is my day to re-group and re-define my week. First I make a plan for getting over the bump of the mid-week, then I re-envision my emotional tone and perspective.

We are in the yin time of the waning gibbous moon - a time to receive the fruits of our labors, a time of quiet, internal, heart-driven, intentional Being-ness. 

Agenda today:

1. My bump plan

2. Read "The Exquisite Risk"

3. Gratitude meditation

4. Discern creative risk-taking

5. Writing themes and passion plan

1. My bump plan:

Today I need a plan for flow and vigor. Ideas:

• Eat a high-protein breakfast for a sharper focus: Egg and bagel
• Mid-week priority catch up: This week - Earthcare work
• Clear some clutter to free mental space: Studio floor
• Easy evening meal or dinner out

2. Read "The Exquisite Risk":

I'm reading this small book by Mark Nepo (2005), with the subtitle, Daring to Live an Authentic Life. It's about how to stay awake and open to our experience of life, when our wounds make us numb and hidden. "But we all live on this shore between the depths of being and the dangers of experience."

The last chapter hit a chord with me: That integrity is me allowing my inner authentic Being to shape my Doing - that I can practice saying "The authentic me requires me to Do things this way," (but be careful that I'm not just being stubborn!) When I have integrity I can express my inner world, what matters to me, to the outer world. "In a daily way, the exchange of what matters is the dance by which we stay alive and true."

Chapter 4 is The Exquisite Risk, which is letting Spirit through so we can find truth, and then letting that knowing inform our Doing. "For without knowing and feeling our connection to all life, the patterns of experience seem to make no sense." The feeling of connection is a net that softens the impact and pain of life, and gives us a context of meaning.

We open to this feeling with Truth, with Love, with silence and time and pain. It's a quiet threshold that we must dare to cross. Once over the threshold we will inevitably fall back into the pain, but are then blessed with a vision of this shimmer that gifts us with courage. 

"You see the exquisite risk is really a sensibility more than a circumstance, more a way of entering and carrying Spirit through our days than a skillful response to a fleeting opening."

3. Gratitude meditation:

Every month after the full moon, in the quiet-energy yin time of the waning moon, I practice a love meditation that progresses from receptivity, to gratitude, to generosity. 

The most powerful receiving is accompanied with sincere gratitude, so today I will look again at the things I want to receive this month, and how I can better feel (and show) my heart-felt gratitude:

• Equanimity and calm - feel my calm, record my calm, celebrate my calm;
• Better understanding of neurodiversity so I can offer support - list out the wonderful differences and give thanks.
• Abundant wise writing - tell my reader thank you.
• Energy and motivation to work at clearing - plan a blessing ceremony;
• Continued enjoyment of watercolors - savor my time with paint.

Day 2: Practice a love meditation, and end by feeling and expressing gratitude - send a prayer of thanksgiving to the universe for all I have in my life.

4. Discern creative risk-taking:

Creativity is our greatest super-power, the rich resource that leads us towards transformation. Creativity is risky by nature, because it puts us on an uncertain path that we can only see by taking it. Your journey towards transforming your world will lead to more and more unpredictability - it's the nature of transformation. As you face daily encounters with unpredictability, notice your feelings of fear, irritation, confusion, defensiveness, worry, or disappointment- these are flags that show you when you are holding back.  

The trick is to learn how to be comfortable with uncertainty, and trust in the creative process. Rather than holding back, perk up and lean in to the situation with eagerness. Embrace the uncertainty of the moment. Step out of the safety zone! Accept the situation, accept your emotions, and accept the people involved. Draw on Transforming Power.

Touch the river of energy at your core, made up of your essential wisdom, strength, and goodness, and make a shift to peace; to strength; to joy. You have the map, and your Truth is a beacon of light shining the way; you just need to take the first step, and trust that your process has been good.

Queries: How can I bring mindfulness to the practice of creative risk-taking in the ordinary setting of every day? Where am I holding back and when am I leaning in?

Journal: I've been leaning in a lot lately, with my writing and my activism. Most recently, with offering to write a voters pamphlet statement in support of the Clean Energy Fund. (But it's due soon, and I have not started!) Also, with my anger management work.

Creative risk work:

1. Schedule daily writing time for voter's pamphlet!
2. Lean in to loving my family as they are.

5. Writing themes:

I have finally fallen in to a steady, daily obsession for my writing project. Today I will set themes and topics for writing and research:

• W: Make a pilgrimage to water
• F: Post
• Sat: Know the fishes
• M: Post
• T: Become a water ally; Clean your water runoff
• Th: Post
• F: Reduce your water waste; Be water-wise