Tuesday for the Heart

Tuesday is my day to look at my social and emotional self, and make an effort to shift my perspectives around how I view and treat the people in my life.

This is the time of the waning crescent "balsamic moon" - the final yin phase, a pause that marks the end point in this cycle. Now we can ease off a bit on actively pursuing goals, slow down, go within, and attend to inner work, renewal, and self-care.

Agenda: 

1. Read "How to Deal with Anger"

2. My anger journal

3. Heart and passion brainstorm

4. Pockets and treasure hunt

1. Read "How to Deal with Anger":

I'm reading this book by Isabel Clarke (2016) that I got at Powell's, because after my last explosion I decided I won't reach equanimity without managing my anger. Part 2 is Tackle: Get to grips with what you need to do to make a change.

Chapter 5 is Now You Have a Choice. This chapter points out two obstacles: First, do I even want to manage my anger? Or do I want to just get my way at any cost? Second, it just might be too hard to stop my anger reaction. 

The tool that is effective in this case is mindfulness: Gentle, compassionate curiosity, in-the-moment; noticing my body, my feet on the floor, my judging, something I can see, hear... Mindfulness helps to bring me into the present during an anger challenge so that I have the option to make a different choice.

The first step is to practice mindfulness 3 times every day, to make it a habit. This can be a brief "noticing" exercise, mindful of my body, what I see and hear, and how I am Being in the moment. 

The next step is to use mindfulness (along with breathing and other coping methods) at the time of a struggle, and then MAKE A CHOICE.

2. My anger journal:

I'm keeping an Anger Journal to record every time I feel miffed, uneasy, disappointed, tense, defensive, belittled, or angry. And I've also been paying attention to distraction and torpor, and how it affects my flow. One pattern I've noticed is my 2:00 slump and how quickly my patience fizzles, especially if we are out in public.

  

3. Heart and passion brainstorm:

Yesterday I had a brainstorm for renewal goals and today I will look again at my ideas for social and emotional growth, and expand on them a bit.

1. Anger and calm journal, and noticing patterns.
2. Anger exercises from book: Problem solving plans, How to discharge anger, Mindfulness of my "wind up" thinking
3. Brief "noticing" practice, at meal times and after nap.
4. Be in the moment with my grandsons- since we will see them less, double down on the time we are together.
5. Continue to learn and understand about neurodiversity- begin to make a list of ways to "be welcoming".
6. Kindness practices:
   

   Be patient and calm. Give attention to those I love. Listen to understand. Be humble and don't preach. Think before speaking, and avoid petty or mean conversation.

7. Clearing stuff as a love practice - this month I want to use love as a motivator for clearing out my crap.

4. Pockets and a treasure hunt:

It's Back-to-School time, and tomorrow one grandson will begin first grade, and the other will begin Headstart. We will pick them both up after school some of the time, but we will see them quite a bit less. It's really a big change for all of us.

To mark the transition, we will use our pocket calendar - a hanging with 7 large embroidered pockets that my mom made for us, when our children were young. 

We are also having a treasure hunt for some larger gifts that the boys picked out for themselves for Back to School week.